NUMB

Day Twenty-One - Elyse

Mrs. B's class is canceled because it is time for us to get our antiviral shots. This will begin our weekly shots on top of our checkups. Edie is sweating as we walk down the stairs to the first floor. Beads of it start at her temples and track down the side of her face, through the maze of bumpy flesh that her scars make. I reach out and take her hand, hoping the gesture gives her comfort. She gives me a small smile and I think I have done the right thing.

We do not hold hands for very long. Someone else from our class moves to cut between us. I watch him as I release Edie's hand. Isaiah. He slows for a moment to say hello, but then keeps moving. Edie's face flushes as his arm brushes against hers. She watches him hop down a few more stairs before he is caught up with another boy from our class. I do not comment on Edie's reaction.

When we finally reach the first floor, there is another class getting ready to head back up the stairs. Our two classes form neat single file lines and pass by each other. I notice a few of the other students going up the stairs holding their arms. A few more look sick to their stomachs; but most still wear the usual blank expression.

The infirmary comes into view, with its colorful nurses going from room to room. Edie takes my hand in hers again and I turn my gaze to her. Her eyes are so wide they look like they will roll out of her skull, her eyebrows creasing above her nose.

"You will be fine," I whisper. "Try not to watch them stick you and try not to make a sound when they do. You can't feel it anyway, remember?"

"Mm-hm." She presses her lips together so hard they turn as white as her skin.

I cannot help but wish that I felt even a small inkling of emotions towards Edie in this moment. I ignore the emptiness inside my heart, inside my head, and instead watch as our line progresses closer to the main infirmary room.

The shots are quick, the nurses not wasting any time in getting them administered. Before I know it, I am next and Edie is behind me. Isaiah went in before me and walks out of the curtained area, a smile on his face.

"Didn't feel a thing." He winks at Edie as he walks past her to wait with the others who already have had their shots.

"Next." A bored looking nurse says.

I step forward and she ushers me into the curtained area. There is another nurse in there sterilizing a new needle and a second one standing at a portable computer. She asks for my identification and I respond automatically, "Elyse. Level Three."

"Stand still, please." The one with the needle moves closer to me and grabs my arm. I watch as she wipes a spot on my arm with a cotton ball. My skin reflects the light from the ceiling with the antiseptic she has used. Without any warning, she jabs the needle into my arm. I do not turn my eyes away. I watch as the needle sinks in and disappears underneath my skin.

Half a second later, the needle is pulled out and my arm is wiped with another cotton ball. I leave when I am told to and pat Edie on her shoulder as I walk past her. She is taken to the curtained area. I linger at the outer edge of the group of students who already got their shot—listen to see if Edie reacts to the needle.

Edie recites her name and level number and then it is silent for several minutes. She walks out of the curtained area cradling her arm against her chest. Her eyes are still open wide, but she looks considerably less nervous than before. She hurries over to me and begins whispering almost immediately, "I did it. I didn't make a peep when they stuck it in."

"I knew you would be fine." I say.

"It actually doesn't hurt as badly as I was imagining. It's an uncomfortable feeling though." Edie's face scrunches up and she glances at the small pin prick spot on her arm. It has already stopped bleeding, thanks to the second solution it was wiped with.

"What does it feel like?" I ask, unsure why I even want to know.

But before Edie can answer me, Isaiah comes and stands next to both of us. "What are we whispering about over here?"

"Things that are none of your business." I say.

Isaiah cracks another smile, his cheeks dipping with dimples, and folds his arms over his chest. "So testy. Are you sure you got the antiviral soon enough?"

"Are you sure you are even a Three? You show an awful lot of emotion. Perhaps they classed you wrong and you need to be reassigned."

"So much sass for someone who supposedly doesn't feel anything."

I turn to look directly at him. "I do not feel anything. I am a Three, through and through. Any sass you hear is merely your interpretation."

"Wait I take it back, you are a Three. Through and through like you said." His eyes narrow as they shift from me to Edie. "You on the other hand..."

Edie does not say anything. She does not make eye contact with Isaiah and keeps her head lowered.

"Don't worry," Isaiah says, dropping his voice and leaning in closer to us. "Your secret is safe with me."

Edie looks up then, her eyebrows arched. I can only imagine that mine do the same, but I do not feel surprise at his comment. I would like to feel relief, but do not. Edie whispers her thanks and smiles faintly herself. And then Mrs. B is telling us it is time to head back to class.