NUMB

EPILOGUE - Day Sixty-Four - Jet

Elyse only talked about it once, the lake. She said she had a picture of it that she liked to look at. I never saw the photo, but I had an idea of what it looked like. They sell photos of it in the shops in town, postcards and souvenir "Wish You Were Here!" cards. There's one shot that's used a lot, taken on the shore when you first get to the lake from the trail. I decided a while back that this is where I wanted to bring her. This is where I wanted to be on our first day out in the world together.

Seth let me borrow his car for the day, so I picked Elyse up at her parent's house. Met them at the door. They were really grateful that I had helped orchestrate the release of their daughter. Her mother hugged me and apologized when she cried and got the shoulder of my shirt damp. I almost cried seeing all of them together.

My shirt is only now starting to dry, as I pull the car into the designated parking for the lake. There are a few other cars here, but it's a Monday so the place isn't too busy. Elyse gets out of the car and does this slow circle, looking at the trees around the parking lot, and I think she's figured out where we are.

I close the car door, hurry around to the other side and take her hand in mine—her spiral scar presses against my palm. She slips her fingers between mine and gives a little squeeze.

"You gotta close your eyes for this part."

She looks hesitant, raises one eyebrow. I laugh, "Trust me. Just close your eyes." She indulges me, shuts her eyes and keeps them that way. I lead her out of the parking lot carefully, making sure to watch out for anything on the ground she might trip on. The parking lot ends and we step onto the worn path through the trees that will lead us to the lake's shore. "Watch your step there's a root on the ground right there."

It's a short walk through the woods, only takes a couple of minutes. We arrive at the lake and I position Elyse so she's standing in just the right spot.

"Can I open my eyes now? I do not like not being able to see."

"You can open them."

She opens her eyes and immediately her hand goes to her mouth. Her eyes dance across the scene in front of her. I give her a minute to just take it all in. Then without any prompting, which I kind of thought I'd have to do, she takes her shoes off, leaves them in the sand and walks out to the water. I wait a moment, then remove my shoes and roll my pants up to just underneath my knees.

I stand next to her, the water only reaching my ankles. The mud is slippery underneath my feet and teetering on the edge of being kind of gross, but Elyse looks like she's so amazed to be standing here that I don't even care. I slip my hands underneath the edge of her t-shirt and touch her back. She looks up at me and I smile down at her. The corner of her mouth ticks up, her eyes sparkle.

"What're you thinking about?" I ask.

"I was just looking at the lake. It is strange to see it in person after only having the photo for so long." Her gaze drops to her feet. "I never even once imagined what standing here would feel like."

"It's good though, right? Better than the photo?" I slip my hands down to her hips now, give her a little tug to get her closer to me. "It took me like, four days to find this spot, you know. I got lost in the woods once or twice."

"Did you?" Her tone indicates that she knows full well that I'm lying, but she's playing along with me anyway.

I laugh again, more of an exhale than a full laugh. "Yeah, but I think it was worth it to be able to be here with you on your birthday."

"Definitely worth it," she says. Her eyes move along my face, my eyes catching hers after a moment. She has an unfamiliar look in her eyes, one I haven't seen before.

"What's that look for?" I ask. My feet are sinking into the mud beneath me, so I shift my weight, adjust my position by a few inches. I weave our fingers together again and her eyes fall to where our fingers are laced together.

"It's..." She cocks her head, meets my gaze again. Her cheeks go red, a faint coloring against her sunkissed skin. "I had a dream like this once."

"Oh?" I move one of my hands up to her elbow, grip it and pull her towards me slowly. I close the distance between us until I'm close enough to smell the soap on her skin and see the ring of darker color around her irises. "Care to share?" She doesn't answer me, just looks up at me with her cheeks darkening and her eyes widening ever so slightly. "Actually, I think I could probably guess." I lean in and brush my lips against hers, testing it out. She doesn't make a move to get away or to stop me, so I reach up and tuck her hair behind her ears, tilt her face further up towards mine.

She puts her hands on my shoulders, her weight against me. I hold her face gently in my hands and kiss her on the mouth. She tastes like honey and melon, probably from lunch with her parents. After a moment, I let go of her face and wrap my arms around her waist. She melts into the embrace, kisses me back hard and my heart feels like it's going to burst out of my chest at any moment. She's digging her fingers into my shoulders and my blood is thrumming in my ears, my skin scorching against hers. Kissing her is like finally feeling the sun on your skin after an entire year of cloudy weather.

The sunlight is going to consume me, blind me to everything else in the world. I don't back off, I walk directly into that scorching light eyes wide and welcome the warmth. Because with a light so bright in my arms, I think I could learn to live blindly.