NUMB

EPILOGUE - Day Sixty-Four - Elyse

The lake, Boulder Lake, is even more captivating in person than it had been in my photograph. I stand on the shore, legs bare and warmed by the sun, the water lapping at my ankles. The sun reflects off the water's surface and I have to squint against it. Somewhere to the left of me, there is the sound of splashing and laughter, but I am unable to see the source of the noise.

The spot on the shore I stand is the same spot the picture was taken from—or at least extremely close to where it was taken from. The view is familiar yet completely new to me. The tree line has changed a little, shifted farther away from the water's edge; a dock has been built on one end of the lake and boats float across the surface. But the colors are the same and the way my thoughts drift is the same.

Jet pulls my attention away from the lake, his hands sliding underneath my t-shirt to rest against the small of my back. The sensation of his skin against mine is dull, but even so it sends sparks up my spine. His eyes crinkle when they meet mine and I cannot help the small tug on the corner of my mouth.

"What're you thinking about?" he asks.

"I was just looking at the lake. It is strange to see it in person after only having the photo for so long." My gaze drops to my feet, where they sink underneath the soft mud, and wiggle my toes a little. "I always tried to imagine what standing here would feel like."

"It's good though, right? Better than the photo?" Jet's hands slip out from under my shirt and instead hold onto my hips, beckon me to take a step closer to him. "It took me like, four days to find this spot, you know. I got lost in the woods once or twice."

"Did you?" I ask, knowing full well that he is joking. It is apparent by the glint in his eye and the way he can't help but laugh under his breath at himself.

"Yeah, but I think it was worth it to be able to be here with you on your birthday."

"Definitely worth it." My eyes trace over the pattern of Jet's face; the shape of his nose, the curve of his mouth, the freckles that start on his cheekbones and meet up on the bridge of his nose, the creases at his eyes from his smile.

"What's that look for?" he asks, his body shifting its weight as he weaves his fingers between mine. I stare at our hands, at the small contrast between our skin.

"It's..." I tilt my head to the side, slide my eyes back up to his. The flush on my face burns hot enough for me to feel it. "I had a dream like this once."

"Oh?" One of his hands slips out of mine and travels up my arm, stops at my elbow. The distance between us closes, slow enough for me not to notice until I am able to feel Jet's breath on my face and see the flecks of gold in his eyes. "Care to share?"

When I do not answer, he smiles at me and says something like, "Actually, I think I can guess." But I am not sure because I'm no longer listening by then. The remaining space between us disappears and Jet's lips touch mine—a soft, barely there drag of his mouth against mine. His hands move to my face, tucking my hair behind my ears and tilting my chin up a little.

I have to brace myself against him, grip his shoulders, because my legs are unable to hold my weight anymore. When he finally kisses me, his lips are warm, a little chapped, and gentle. His lips on mine sends shocks to every nerve in my body. I finally understand what Edie had said about happiness, about it warming you from the inside out, touching everything inside of you. The feeling surges through me, knocks the breath out of my lungs.

I feel like I am drowning. The fire under my skin consumes me and I am drowning in it, overwhelmed by the feeling. For the first time since that first day I could feel, I can feel. I feel everything—Jet's arms tight around me and his lips against mine; his breath becoming mine and our bodies melting in the fire that drowns me. But in that moment, with the feeling of Jet there, I am not so afraid of drowning.