NUMB

Day Fifty-One (pt. 1) - Elyse

When Dr. Hendry comes to get me the next morning, he brings three Wardens with him. I do not try anything though. I do not try to get away during breakfast or during my bathroom break. I do not try to run as I am led to the testing room. I simply stare at Sheila as I am strapped to the chair.

She looks frazzled today. Her hair is in a loose bun, wavy strands hang at her temples and she keeps tucking them behind her ears. I keep my eyes on her and she seems unnerved by my gaze today. Her eyes will not meet mine.

"Start with the shocks today," she says, her voice even despite her appearance.

It is easy to ignore the electricity today, to tell myself that I cannot even feel it. Sheila watches as my body shakes in the chair after every burst. It is not until she tells them to turn the voltage up that I fear I will not be able to make it through this today.

With the first shock, my entire body tenses and I lift off the chair, my back arched. But I do not shout. I bite my tongue so hard that my mouth fills with blood, but I do not give Sheila the satisfaction of hearing my cries of pain. Tears sting the back of my eyes as my body slumps into the chair. She orders the shocks to continue for a few more minutes.

Then, when I am trembling and twitching from the electricity running through my body, she tells the techs to stop. I am vaguely aware of the blood dripping out of my nose. If it did not leave drops on my pants, I would not notice it at all. My body has decided to be Numb now. The techs check the discs stuck to my skin, but I do not feel their bony fingers prodding at me.

Sheila finally meets my gaze and her mouth puckers. The techs back away from me, one of them goes to stand behind the machine. Dr. Hendry walks over to where Sheila is standing by the door across from me and begins to argue with her. I only catch bits and pieces of their conversation, but the mention of the drug causes the machine to blip momentarily.

I use this pause in the tests to survey the room. There are not that many people in here today, compared to yesterday. The three Wardens who came in with me are the only Wardens in the room. There are only two techs, the people in the lab coats. Then there are Sheila and Dr. Hendry. The techs look like they do not want to be here right now. The one who stayed by the machine keeps giving me wary looks.

"Then up the dosage!" Sheila's shrill voice pulls my attention back to her conversation.

Dr. Hendry wrings his scarred hands and shakes his head, "If we give her a stronger dosage, it might kill her. The drug is not working on her anymore, Sheila." His eyes meet mine and he moves so he is blocking my view of Sheila. Their voices drop once more so I cannot hear what they are saying.

The Wardens stand against the walls of the room, one to the left of me, one to the right and the third by the door behind the chair. I only know he is there because he has been tapping his foot against the floor since we got in here. The tech by the machine is distracted by whatever is on the back of it, and the other is having a sneaky conversation with the Warden to my left.

This moment is the perfect chance for me to execute my plan. I test the restraints on my wrists. The techs in today are not as diligent at the first ones. One of the cuffs is loose, just enough for me to be able to get my hand free. I work on it slowly, so I do not draw attention to myself. It only takes a second to get my hand halfway through the cuff, but my thumb gets pinned against my palm. The strain on the tendons in my hand is painful. I have to clench my teeth together firmly to keep from making a noise.

After a few seconds of trying to twist my hand, it pops free of the cuff. I wait, scan the room again. Sheila and Dr. Hendry are still arguing amongst themselves; the Wardens are not paying attention at all, the one on my right has his eyes closed; the techs are now somewhere behind me where I cannot see them, but I can hear their hushed voices. I begin to work on getting my other hand free.

The cuff on this one is not as loose, and, unfortunately, it is the same hand I had freed the first day. There is an ugly streak of broken skin along my thumb on that hand, where the cuff scraped it off the first time. It brings pin prick tears to my eyes to drag my skin against the cuff again, but after a moment, my other hand is freed. I bring my hands up to my head and search for the release on the band holding me still. It takes a second to find it, a small button the base of the band, where it meets the chair. I click it and the band releases my head with an audible click.