Behind The Scenes: Book Two || Jihope

XXVII: Target

"Wow! It turned out better than I had expected!" Jimin spoke in admiration as Jisung showed him the film he had made of their *AMAs presentation. "You were fantastic!" The guy spoke with a smile as he took his phone from Jimin's hand. "Wish you could've been there" Jimin told his friend with a big smile. He had loved every single second of that presentation. It would've been awesome to have someone from home there to see him. Family or friends, it would've made the experience even better than it already was. "Me too" Jisung replied dryly. That was not exactly something he wanted to hear from Jimin.

"So how is it going with Hoseok- sunbae?" Jisung asked as he took a seat next to Jimin. "Pretty well!" Jimin answered excitedly. "He has helped me a lot" he continued, now feeling a little shy. "How so?" Jisung questioned, feeling genuinely intrigued. He had indeed noted some changes in Jimin. "Well, he...he makes me feel complete. You know? Like I am not missing anything. He makes me feel good about myself" Jimin assured, his voice being low and sweet. He was really shy about his own feelings because they were too big and a little overwhelming. The love he had for Hoseok engulfed him tenderly and sweetly consumed his heart. It was mesmerizing and a little frightening but Jimin liked it anyway. "He says that I am perfect all the time" Jimin finished almost in a whisper but loud of enough for the guy next to him to hear it.

"And you believe him?" Jisung inquired, sounding way harsher than what he would've liked. "Yes" Jimin replied with an impressed tone. He had not appreciated that last question. "Oh well, then" Jisung commented "It's just that...no, forget it!" He went on, knowing that it would trigger Jimin's curiosity. "It's just thaaat?" The sweet Mochi asked turning to look at Jisung. "It's just that he is your boyfriend. So he'll always see you as perfect, I guess" Jisung quickly fired, but his attack was not received as he had expected. "I know. That is why it makes me happy. Because it is him that thinks I'm perfect" Jimin commented with a smile.

Jisung internally frowned at the answer. "Alright, that is what Hoseok- sunbae calls you. But do you think you are perfect?" He fired a shot, glad to see Jimin doubting. "I- I don't know" he answered quietly after a minute of silence. "It's okay, Jiminie. It's not easy. Now that more people know who you are, there'll be more pressure to become or to seem perfect" Jisung commented seeing Jimin's doubt. Maybe he had gotten to the right spot this time. "Well...I, I still think there are many things I have to change about myself" Jimin replied, a little sigh leaving his lips as he spoke. "But I am tired, Jisung" he continued, interlacing his hands and locking his gaze in them. "I am tired of trying to be perfect only to dissapoint myself at the end. It is more exhausting than what I can tell" Jimin spoke, the words leaving his mouth with full honesty.

"I just wished I could accept myself the way I am" he sighed, a bitter taste invading his mouth with this last sentence. Jimin had always been chasing after perfection. Wanting to be the best Jimin he could be but always end up not living up to his own expectations. It was sad and disappointing. "If you really want to do that, then you have to mold yourself into the person you want to be. No matter the cost" Jisung told a thoughtful Jimin. "I have tried for so long without achieving the results I want" Chimchim soon responded. Thinking of every single thing he had done to become prettier, better or thinner. "Maybe you are not trying hard enough then" Jisung added without any sort of remorse. For years, he had used Jimin's own insecurities against himself.

It was not that he didn't like Jimin and it for sure wasn't that he hated the guy. He was just envious of him. Envious of Jimin and the rest of BTS, like a lot of people were but would not speak. As trainees, Jimin had been his best companion and he had definitely learned to appreciate the little idol. His problem with him, however, was the fact that Jimin got chosen to debut instead of him. At first, he had not really cared because he didn't have a lot of high expectations for the band. Yes he was a trainee in the same company, but that company was close to bankrupty, putting all of their last hopes into a single group. Honestly Jisung thought they'd flop or separate before even reaching their first year...what actually happened wasn't even close to his initial predictions.