Confessing

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***Katniss POV***

"We are moving to London." Dad says smiling. I am in pure shock. I am feeling numb as I think about what this means. This means leaving Peeta, my friends, and the only place I've called home throughout my sixteen years of life! I can't move; not now that Peeta and I finally got together. Of course, Panem has it's disadvantages like Gale and Cashmere, but it has Peeta and my friends. I can't leave. If I have to leave, how are we going to maintain our relationship? How am I going to tell my best friend for ten years and boyfriend that I am moving to another continent when we became a couple just two days ago? I try to concentrate in keeping myself breathing normally. I know that this type of situations can lead into one of my anxiety attacks. I try to put myself back together.

I finally sigh and say "Do we have to move? Can't you just send a representative to take care of your new lab like Prim said? Paylor has been working with you since before I was even born! That's more than sixteen years dad. I don't want to leave, and I'm sure Prim doesn't want to leave either. Please don't make me move, I grew up here and I have many good memories. My friends live here! I can't just leave them and this place behind." Tears start forming in my eyes. How can I leave the people who changed my life, who support me, who consider me as part of their family, and this place, which has many positive memories? "I can't. Sorry Katniss, but I thought you'll be the most excited one about moving. After all, you've always wanted to go to the University of Oxford, and since London is obviously closer to Oxford than Panem your possibilities of going there only grow." he says sighing. "I know that, Dad; but I just can't leave my friends. I want to stay here." I say as a tear escapes my eye. "Sorry Katniss but we'll have to go. We're living during winter break, so that's 2 and a half months." Dad responds.

"Isn't there any way I could stay? Can't I stay at Annie's or Madge's house? Please, I can't leave. Not now. Not now, please! I can't leave!" I say. I am working hard to stop any sob from escaping my throat. I don't want to cry. I don't want to seem weak or dependant. I need to stay calm and strong. "I am sorry Katniss. I can't let you stay here. You are my daughter and we're a family. Family must stick together." I sigh. I guess he is right. The problem is my friends are my family too and I need Peeta with me. Peeta has been there for me for ten years! I need him with me. I need his hugs, his words, his kisses. I need him. "May I go to my room, Father? I need to think." I say as politely as I can at the moment. I just want to go to my room and think. I don't want to deal with another 2 hour long argument. Not after the one I had with my dad last month. My dad tries to say something but Mom interrupts him. "Yes Katniss. I am sure you want to rest." I nod and leave. I close my bedroom door and collapse on my bed. What I do I do now? Is there anyway to avoid this? How am telling this to the guys? How am I telling this to Peeta? Will they be mad? Will they be sad? Many questions start to pop in my head.

Tears form in my eyes and I let them flow freely. Peeta will forget you once you leave. You're not enough. He is kind, generous, slefless, smart, sweet, handsome, strong, skillful, and perfect. What are you? You are worthless, distrustful, manipulative, dumd, ugly, insecure, and imperfect. I don't deserve him. I could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve him. He deserves the best, and what are you? Nothing. You shouldn't have entered his life. I am just a burden. He can have any girl. Why me? Katniss, he loves you. Since when do you need to be perfect? Yes, it's true you aren't perfect, but is anyone perfect besides God?  Yes. Peeta is. I do not deserve him. Yes you do. You balance each other. Stop listening to your insecurities and remember he loves you. You, from all people in the world know Peeta has flaws too. You are meant to be. He is strong in the areas you're weak and you have strength in the areas he needs it. You need each other. 

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