Moving Forward

Chapter Thirty Two

His daughter? What on earth did he mean by that? I tried to wrap my mind around it until it clicked. I gasped, "You... You had a daughter?" My eyes seemed to bug out further than its limits.

Rion rubbed his palm over his face and then nodded. "Yep."

"She died?" I asked dumbfoundedly. I knew the answer to the question but I needed it to sink in. I needed the idea that he had a daughter to sink into my brain.

"Yep..." He choked out. "She was three."

I made an 'O' shape with my lips and studied him. Rion's body was upright and tense. His eyes were fixated on mine but it showed nothing, no emotions and no feelings. Like he was deep in thought. Like if he wasn't here at the beach with me.

I waved my hand in front his face, "Hello?"

Rion jerked his head a little bit as if I had snapped him out of a hypnosis. "Sorry... I..."

"It's ok." I placed a hand on his shoulder. There was a tattoo on the edge of it. Just a tiny heart with the initials: SB in it. The heart was shaded, but the letters weren't.

My thumb gently brushed over the symbol. I hadn't even noticed that I did what I did until Rion flinched. I quickly tugged my hand away resting it on my sides.

His face was clueless. It was stoic and his eyes looked glassy as if he was crying... Or wanted to cry. The whole situation felt awkward. Then Rion slightly parted his lips and closed them.

"How old was she?" I asked, trying to keep the conversation alive.

He furrowed his eyebrows at me as if I was dumb. "I said three."

My God. I was terrible at this. He actually told me this already. I scratched the back of my neck, "Um... What happened?"

"It's nothing." He sniffed.

"What? Rion... Come on."

"I don't want to bore you with the details." He waved.

"I honestly want to know. This little girl seems like everything to you. I want to know." I pleaded.

Rion studied my face for a few seconds and then said, "Soriya lived with her mother at the time. Simone and I were on a break until we sorted out our relationship. When I visited her to carry Soriya to the park she sparked an argument. A nonsensical one as usual... We were so caught up in our fight that we hadn't noticed that Soriya was missing..."

Oh my... "So where was she?" I asked trying to keep my heartbeat down to a bare minimum.

Rion took a long pause to compose himself. It didn't look like he was going to make it. I watched as the muscle in his jaw tense every other second. Whatever he was about to say was either going to anger him or make him unfold. I wasn't ready to handle either of them.

"Rion?" I pushed. Just as he said I needed to get Malik off my chest, he needed to get Soriya off his too. I gave his rigid body a soft tap on the shoulder. It was just enough to get his attention.

"We called her out. We went outside in the yard looking for her but she wasn't there. So we came back inside looking in the kitchen, toilets.... and... and finally the bedroom. She was in Simone's bedroom."

I swallowed hard. My heart was pounding faster than before. I wasn't ready to hear what he had to say, but I sucked in a breath and nodded my head for him to continue. I was positive Rion saw my anxiety. My uneasiness. My fear.

"She was lifeless."

"What?"

As if I was far, far away, he shouted it again. "She was LIFELESS! Her body was sprawled out on her mother's small bedside carpet."

Rion rubbed his palm over his face again. This time leaving small tears behind. His chest hopped from the sudden breaths he was taking. All I did was place my hands on both shoulders. I felt his pain... well I at least knew how it felt. My eyes glistened with tears from the onset of thick emotions.

"Her... Her mouth was... Was just open. Like if she was gasp... gasping for air." He hicupped. "I grabbed her so fast in my hands and held her upside down. She needed air. She was choke... she was choking." His sobs were uncontrollable.

Oh God. I couldn't help myself from wiping my own tears. I should have been strong enough to help him get through this. But I was just as weak.

"She had swallowed some of her mom's tic tacs. Simone had carelessly left the case on her bed, and she found it. She was already lifeless... Her heart beats were faint." Rion hands were trembling. "I had her in my hands. My baby girl was lifeless in my hands and I couldn't do anything."

I watched as he repeatedly slammed his fists on the sand beside him. I never knew he hurt. He looked so jolly all the time. I would have never thought he had lost someone. Someone so dear. He kept it so neatly hidden.

"By the time the ambulance arrived, it was way too late. My baby girl was already gone. I should have saved her. I was her daddy. I'm suppose to know how. I'm suppose to protect her." He pounded his chest repeatedly with the palm of his hand.

I couldn't say anything. I was choked up from all of it. I took his hand into mine to stop him from hitting himself.

"I should have known. I was too young. Too naive. We should have been watching her instead of arguing."

"How old were you?"

"Twenty six at the time."

Wow. He was young. He had a child at the age of twenty three? And here I was at twenty still trying to get over my brother's death that was eight years ago. "Oh..." Was all I could say.

Rion peered out at the beach shaking his head. His jaw was still ticking. He still had a lot on his mind. Regret maybe? I wasn't sure. I cupped his face bringing him back to face me. Then that was it. He broke down in front of me. Tears were wetting both my hands.

"Shhh... It's ok." I said pulling him into a hug. His body was shaking underneath me from all the sobbing. At first he didn't hug me back, but after his embrace grew tighter. "I'm sorry." I whispered.

For ten minutes everything around us disappeared. The beach, the people, the sky, the sand. Nothing. Just us. Rion had stopped shaking and crying after a time. He just hugged me. And for some reason I felt alright. I felt safe. I felt good. Nothing mattered, not even Malik at the moment.

Finally, we both loosened our embrace at the same time-- slowly pulling away. My cheek slightly brushed against his and then in a split second, Rion's lips connected to mine. I felt him, his need. But he quickly jerked away from me with shock written all over his face. As if he had done the worst. As if he had seen a monster.

"Shit!" Rion shot to his feet passing his hand over his head over and over dropping bits of sand. "I need to take you home."

I didn't say anything. As a matter of fact I was in much of a shock as him. I peered up at him with my heart racing. Did he like me that way? Did he always? His moves were antic. He hurried over to the other spot where my blanket laid and took it up. "Come on... Let's go." He didn't make eye contact.

I got up slowly and dusted myself. When he walked off leaving me there, I quickened my steps behind him hoping that he would let me catch up, but he didn't.

The ride from the beach to home was maddeningly silent. His head was focused... more like fixated on the road. I still felt his lips lingering on me but... Heck I didn't know what to think. It was my first time kissing someone. And it was him. He stole my first kiss.

When Rion pulled up by my gap, he handed me my items. It was more of a push-- a gentle shove like if he wanted me to leave. Somehow it had hurt my feelings. He kissed me and then treated me like dirt. I couldn't read him at all. The moment I hopped out of the van, he drove off leaving me to inhale a mass of smoke.

"Now what?" I whispered.

...

**To be Continued.**