Change (Harry Styles)

Decisions I can't seem to make - (chapter 28.)

Decisions I can’t seem make. - Chapter 28.

 

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Okay, let’s just rewind that; me, and Alex, date? Well, fake date, but who cares about that right now.

I’m not going to do it. I love the guy, but only as a singer, maybe we could go as far as saying friends now but nothing more. Plus I’m with Harry, and Alex has a wee thing going on with Tay Jardine – that totally super pretty girl from the band We Are The In Crowd. I’m not gonna do that, not to Harry and not to Tay. I wouldn’t be fair on Harry, at least Tay would only see pictures, Harry has to watch it personally.

“No.” Harry states, after about five minutes of everyone being silent and thinking, avoiding unwanted eye-contact with each other.  Once that two-lettered-negative word slipped out of Harrys mouth, the room got tense enough that you would be able to cut it with a knife.

“Harry, you don’t  have a sa-“

“What the hell? You’re asking my girlfriend to date someone else? And I don’t have a fucking say?” He cuts Paul off, his voice increasing in volume ever so slightly.

“Calm down please Harry” Emily speaks for the first time since the start of this ‘meeting’. Personally, I don’t like her very much anymore.

“DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO FUCKING DO!” Harry yells at her while jumping out of his seat and slamming the door of the bunks closed behind him.

Silence falls upon the group, and not the comfortable kind, it’s the awkward kind, with Harry’s words, angry tone of voice and actions still lingering in the air. It’s not really what he said, ‘cause he was only trying to share his opinion, but it’s the way he said it. His voice was louder than I have ever heard him speak in the three months that I have known him. His eyes weren’t the same either, they are usually popping with excitement and that perfect green colour, even that was replaced by hurt and anger, they were now completely dull and drained of anything good.

I am snapped out of my thoughts by the feeling of someone’s warm arm around the back of my neck and their smooth fingers tracing light circles on my shoulders in a relaxing manner. I turned my head to see that Zayn is the source of such relaxation in a tense and stressful discussion. He gave me a reassuring smile, which I returned with a forced smile of my own before I turn my attention to Liam who is trying to spit out the start of a sentence. I am glad it is Liam who starts off, because while his words are so gentle and serious, and managed with care and ease, mine come out like a mess and make everything worse.

“Paul.. I really don’t think that it is such a good idea to force these two to date. What would the both get out of it?” He questions Paul who looks as if he didn’t have an answer to this, which I think is good, but then there was slight twinkle in his eyes, as he has clearly thought of an answer which I’m sure it is one that will make this whole thing seem like a good idea when really it is the complete opposite.

“It will provide Cassie with good publicity and more fans.” Paul stated.

“And why can she not get her publicity from Harry?” Louis challenges.

“Or better yet, from herself” Niall comments. It was nice to know that these guys had my back and also think it was a bad idea too, unlike Alex’s band-mates who are just casually sitting on the sofa, watching this unfold right in front of them. Do they think it’s a good idea that Alex and I ‘date’? or do they just think that the 3/5 who are actually talking are doing a good enough job? – Zayn didn’t need to say anything, him continuing tracing shapes on my shoulders was all I needed from him as it was a way to keep me calm and stopping me from flipping out just like Harry did only a matter of moments ago.

“Well, she can’t get it from you guys as she is not producing your type of music. She’s producing the rock/pop type, which means Alex would be better for her and she could get her music out to his fans.” Paul says, completely ignoring Niall’s statement about me working for it. Which is something I would rather do than relying on Alex as my ‘boyfriend’ to get my music out there, heck I don’t even want to relying on Harry for getting my sound out, I just want to work for it and achieve everything by myself.

Paul looks over at me expectantly, waiting on my opinion on this. I don’t reply to him, instead I sigh and turn to Alex, “And what do you think about this pinky?” And if it is not obvious, I used the word ‘pinky’ referring to the pink bit in his hair. I don’t mean to sound rude whenever I say it, I’m just used to talking about him with Eden and ever since he dyed his hair we have called him pinky, so I’m used to it by now.

“I dunno, I don’t wanna upset Harry, and I don’t want to force you into something you are uncomfortable with.” There, ladies and gentlemen, is the singer I fell in love with; He cares about other people more than himself. He just put what he feels about Harry and I in there, not if he is with or against it.

“And how do you feel about it Alex?” Paul asks, making sure that he will, in the end, make me and Alex fake date.

Alex shrugs before answering him, “Well, if it helps with Cassie’s career, I’d be happy to. But like I said, I don’t want to force her into anything”

Great, now it is up to me to decide what happens. Thank you Alex. I absolutely hate making decisions, I always end up going for the wrong option.

On the downside of this, I hurt Harry, which is something I cannot stand  - I don’t want to hurt him. If I ‘date’ Alex, then me and Harry can’t be our normal couple when out in public, and I’ll feel like I’m betraying him.

But on the plus side, I get the proper fans I need; the ones who actually like my music, - which would be Alex’s fans. And not the ones who like me because of who my boyfriend is, - which, putting aside some hate, would be Harry’s fans.

To most, this would be an easy decision to make and you would have the answer within seconds. But, this is my career we are talking about, and I really don’t know what the answer is.

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Haaaaai.:)

 

Right okay I’m going to fall asleep here. I made the stupid mistake of drinking two cups of coffee at half ten-eleven. AND NOW IT’S HALF THREE IN THE MORNING. Like what?

 

 Haaha

Ah

Well.

 I also hope this is longer.. hmmmm.

PLEASE COMMENT OKAY. and vote too, like, i dont mind..

Love you all my little brats. (yes, I am now calling you brats- LIKE CHER LLOYD hehehe, not meaning it in a rude way though guys so chillllll)

-Sophie.