Change (Harry Styles)

don't be sorry (chapter33)

Don’t be sorry – chapter 33

Cassie’s Pov

I don’t wanna know what it feels like,

To be a shadow of myself,

And I don’t ever wanna come back down from this feeling.

What make you think that you know what’s better for me?

And I don’t think you wanna see what’s underneath.

Your made up version of me.

(A.N- All credit goes to We Are The In Crowd for the lyrics,^ you should go look it up, Rumour Mill;D)

“Whatcha doing?” Harry’s husky voice in my ear and hot breath on the skin of my neck makes me jump, making me drop the pen I was using and clutch the space over my heart instead.

“Harry don’t do that”

“Sorry babe” He chuckles, setting him on a chair beside me and lifting the sheet of paper that I have just finished scribbling a song onto in my messy, ‘this-is-perfect’ writing, meaning that my hand can’t keep up with my head with song lyrics, resulting in them coming out in messy writing.

“Mia said Simon wants more songs, so.. that’s what I’m doing; writing”

“This is amazing” Harry smiles at me, setting the sheet down and pulling me onto his lap, my hand automatically start to play with his curls.

It’s been two weeks since the whole Alex thing, and Harry and I have actually been perfect, more than perfect even. Of course though, there’s the fact that I have to walk around with my hand attached to Alex’s, and fight back the urge to do anything with Harry in public. It’s hard, but we are also on the bus quite a bit so I guess it’s okay. Me and Alex haven’t talked about the kiss, deciding it’s best if we don’t, for everyone’s sake.  And I have also got quite close with Zack –one of All Time Low’s guitarist – since he is teaching Olivia how to skate-board, Sophia gave up after two days, saying it’s to ‘boyish’ for her liking.

“Really? Will it do?”

“Cassie, it’s perfect, stop worrying”

“Well that’s only one of 3, to be honest I’m qu-“ I am cut off by the feel of Harry’s lip atop of my own.

“Nice way to shut me up” I laugh once we pull away from one of our many perfect kisses. No matter how cheesy or whatever this may sound, each kiss I share with Harry is perfect, always filled with so much passion, and excitement, and sparks, and each kiss is better than the last, yet they are all still so perfect. Unlike the short ones me and Alex are forced to have when we are out in public – They are like what a kiss with a best friend or a brother or something is, it’s absolutely awful. I hate every moment of our ‘relationship’ I would much rather be true with the fans, including about who I date, and let the number of fans I have grow within itself. Not depending on Alex, or Harry, or anyone for that matter to get fans, just me and the music alone, but I guess it’s never that easy in the music industry.

“Cass..”

“mhmm?”

“It’s half six” Harry states, almost worried?

“yes it is. What’s your point Haz?” I laugh, wrapping one of his curls tighter around my finger.

“You haven’t ate anything since half nine yesterday morning..” He says seriously, staring intently into my eyes.

And he’s right. I woke up yesterday, ate, done an interview followed by a signing, then the show, after the show I got a shower and went to bed, woke up today and got straight into writing songs for Simon. Obviously, my schedule was busy yesterday and I guess it just didn’t occur to me that I didn’t eat anything, along with the fact that I wasn’t one bit hungry.

“I completely forgot, let’s go get food now” I say, already standing. And since Niall and Louis are allowed to go get food, I don’t see why Harry and I wouldn’t be.

“I’m glad you’re so eager” He chuckles, grabbing my hand and bringing me back onto his knee. I give him a confused look, “I already told Niall and Louis to get us a Chinese”

“Mm, I love Chinese food”

“I know,” he mumbles against my lips, before properly kissing me.

“FOODS HERE!” Louis comes running onto the bus with a few white bags in his hand, followed by Niall with more bags, those boys sure know how to feed themselves.

Liam comes stumbling out of the bunk room, his eyes heavy with sleep and his hair sticking out in all directions, also, with only sweats on, and can I just say – he has quite a body on him.

“Keep the noise down, Zayn’s sleeping” He mutters, walking over to Niall and taking the bags off him.

“Wake him, he needs food” Harry says, tracing light circles on my thigh.

“He’s already had some, he needs sleep”

Rolling my eyes at Liam’s careness for the boy, I lift myself off of Harrys knee and get some food for myself.

“I’m sick of this” Harry whispers, breaking the comfortable silence between me and him while playing with my hair. The other boys, Sophia and Olivia are already out for the count, while me and Harry lye on the sofa.

“Sick of what?” I ask, moving my head so I am looking up at him, but he just continues to stare at the roof.

“How I can’t take you out on dates, even just do something with you and the girls outside of the bus. You’re always stuck to him and it annoys me how I can’t give the relationship you deserve because we have to keep hidden in here”

Again? Really Harry? This conversation has happened a lot between me and Harry. He tells me how bad he feels and I tell him I have no choice and that it is over in three weeks or so – we have been forced to stay together for at least a month, not a lot, I know, but it’s enough to get my name out to his fans. But one thing Harry has never said before ‘give you the relationship you deserve’

“Harry, you know we have no choice, plus, it’ll be over soon, and then we can do what we want. And what do mean ‘relationship I deserve’ Harry, even just being with you is all I need.

Harry gives a slight smirk, but it disappears as soon as it came. “I know it will be over soon, but even at that, we can’t just put you out in another relationship straight away. And I know you don’t care about all that ‘date’ stuff, but if I have a girlfriend, I want to show her off.”

There’s a pause while we both think of what we are saying, or what to say next.

“I’m sorry” I whisper, not thinking it was even loud enough for him to hear

“Don’t! You have nothing to be sorry for” He says pressing a kiss to my forehead.

Okay.

One- I’m sorry this is so short and crap, but I’m on time limit here.

Two- I don’t know when I’ll be uploading next as my internet is gonna be messed up for the next few days.

Three- I love you all so much. My brats.<3

-Sophie.