Poems By A Lonely Cloud

humanity

Everyday I die a little
Bit by little bit
Everyday I mourn
The loss of myself
Never to be taken back
Never to be redeemed
I lose myself to change
But I don't like what I've become
I've come to hate myself
For the deeds I have done
Changing every single day
Till I don't know myself anymore
My past self dead
My past self burned
Its ashes scattered by the wind
All throughout the land
Of the dead yet living
Like a phoenix I'm reborn
But I'm worse than before
And every I die
As I hate myself more
To try and change is what I do
But the cycle got me
Now I'm stuck and I change
And be better then fall back
A never ceasing change of mind and heart
A puppet living a life unlived
Full of secrets better left untold
Going through the motion aware yet detached
The strings I have controlling me
Who is it that moves it?
I was once a free master of myself
Now I am controlled by others
By their will and expectations
By my responsibilities and obligations
But was I ever free of these strings?
Or have I lived with it yet unaware
So used to being pulled and controlled
That the fact remained unrealized for so long
Until I got a taste of freedom
Of feeling like you don't give a fuck
And finally, finally, I know
And sadly, miserably still attached
Unable to cut myself off
Afraid to go limp without the support
Living yet dead
Free but controlled
For how long will we all live like the puppets we are?
Deny it all you want
We all know it's true
We are guided by beliefs
And opinions and expectations
And obligations and responsibilities
And duties and relations
Unable to go through life without getting strung
Unable to truly rely on ourselves alone
For we are human
And we need company to survive
For when we are alone
Demons come and take us away
Driven to madness caused by isolation
Puppets and yet free
Such is humanity