give me love ✧ max mills

fourteen | alone

g r a c e
*2 weeks later*

"max it's okay," i said with a laugh. "i'm just..i don't know..sorry," he said, playing with his fingers. "it's fine to be nervous. i mean, you're going to see what your babies are," i said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. he looked at me. "no, we're going to see what our babies are," he replied with a smile that could melt someone, me more specifically.

i gave him a smile in return and nodded. "our babies," i corrected myself as he smiled again.

a few minutes later, a nurse walked in and called for us. we stood up and walked over, our hands still clasped together. the nurse smiled as she took us back into the same room from our previous check ups.

as she left with a smile, max nervously sat down beside me. after a few moments of him actually sitting still, he got up and paced around. "max are you okay?" i asked, laughing a little.

he sighed. "no...i'm not okay. this was never supposed to happen. before you came into my life, i wasn't worried about anything, but now, i've already baby-proofed my house. i'm so happy i'm having kids, but this wasn't planned. i'm just so confused and nervous and-and...scared." he vented, throwing his hands up at times while he paced and looked at me.

he recollected his breaths for a few short moments before beginning again.

"this is so crazy! i mean, i've lost my reputation, my friends, my dignity, and myself grace! how is any of this okay? how am i supposed to be a great dad when we both know i can't?" he finally stopped and looked at me.

"grace. i'm-im sorry. i just..can't do this," he said, shattering both the silence between us, and my heart. with that, he walked out and left me there before i could say anything. i was alone yet again. to be honest, i'd forgotten what it felt like to be all alone. the feeling seemed to suffocate me with cloudy memories of my previous life before max came into it all.

my heart was broken in just an instant, just a small second caught in time. my mind was suddenly searching for answers i couldn't give, for lost hope. just a few hours ago he was happy. max was excited and had no worries.

i guess he bottled it all up. i guess he lied about it all.

-

a few minutes later, dr.jenkins walked in. he'd become my regular doctor.

he walked in with a smile. "why hello again, grace!" he exclaimed, shaking my hand as he always does. he's a total nut, but he's not that bad.

i smiled. "hi," i replied, shaking max from my shoulders. "and where is the fine young gentleman that is always eagerly here?" he asked, sitting down and putting on some gloves, as he does every time he walks through the same room, with the same wooden door.

"he couldn't make it today," i lied, not being able to say in truth why max, the person being my stronghold all this time, wasn't here. he nodded. "we all have those busy days," dr.jenkins replied, patting the table where i would lay every time i had an appointment.

i nodded and smiled as i lay down. he did the usual and scanned over my stomach with the tool he used every time. it's all same-old, same-old. the only difference is, max isn't here to share the precious new moments that happened here, making it irregular.

"ah, lovely," dr. jenkins said with a smile. "what?" i asked with an eager smile. he smiled. "your twins..you're finally know what they are," he said, making me more and more anxious with every word he spoke. i nodded and smiled again. "i'm so excited," i replied, looking back at the screen, seeing two small shapes forming into my babies.

he pointed to one of the shapes.

"well, here we have a little boy..and right next to him is his brother."

m a x

"grace, i'm-i'm sorry. i just..can't do this," i said before walking out of the room. my mind was shaken up. i'd just released everything i'd kept hidden away for so long.

i walked to my car and got in, cranking it and speeding away in a matter of seconds. grace and i had thankfully met up here, otherwise, i couldn't have left.

-

i drove home and sat in the car for a few minutes after turning it off. i slammed my hands onto the steering wheel in so many different emotions. i could only register s few.

guilt.
anger.
foolishness.
fright.
and sadness. 

a few minutes after i turned off the car, harvey walked out, a confused look on his face. i glanced at him then looked out of the windshield as he got in.

"why are you home so early? don't those appointments take like almost an hour?" harvey asked, looking at me. i looked at him for a moment, giving him the chance to read my face. "what happened?" he asked, successfully finding my readable emotion of overall acrimony.

i sighed heavily.

"i freaked and left her alone," i said, not even believing how i could've left grace alone on this crucial day in both of our lives. 

he gaped his mouth open in shock. "max...ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME YOU IDIOT?!"

harvey. went. off.

i sat there as he continuously scolded me. "i know, i know," i replied to his book of harsh words. i did deserve it to be honest.

"no, you apparently don't know max. this was such an important day for you guys, and you have to be dramatic and freaking leave here all alone to bear this on her shoulders. you are such a prick. so much for changing huh?" he said as a finale to his scoldings.

with that, he got out of the car, said "grace deserves much better," and slammed the door, turning and walking back inside. i sat there staring at our bushes, at least they don't hate me. what am i talking about?

i looked down at my phone and saw a missed call and voicemail from grace. without thinking, i clicked on the voicemail and listened.

g r a c e' s
v o i c e m a i l

hey max.
i know you probably don't want to
talk right now, but i figured i should tell
you that they're twin boys.
brothers.
it's crazy.
...
well i guess i'll leave you be now.
goodbye max.
i love you.

m a x

brothers. oh my god. we're having two boys, just like harvey and i..

at that point one question popped into my head, making me hurt in a harsh emotional pain that was unexplainable in all forms.

how could i have left her all..alone?

-

well, there you go..the genders are officially revealed and so were max's bottled up feelings..

notice i finally updated :)