give me love ✧ max mills

twenty | butterflies

m a x

i woke up to a pillow in my arms although i remembered having grace in them through the night. i sighed and grabbed my phone which was on her bedside table. it was 11:48 am.

it took me a few seconds to realize that grace now knew i was here and was probably confused beyond measure. i sighed, knowing that this was one more thing i'd have to explain to her.

i checked over my phone, semi-dreading the conversation that would happen between grace and i. small bits of laughter drifted to the bedroom from the kitchen. i had honestly forgotten about harvey staying on the couch last night. he must be taking grace's mind off of my mistakes.

i thought of her smile that made the sun itself jealous and meaningless. her laugh that rang out in silence that made it impossible not to grin at the sound of it. the way her nose scrunches up slightly in the moments where she's happiest. she's a work of art, a blessing.

i decided to pause my thoughts for now and go downstairs and face this thing head on. it was the least i could do in all honesty.

as i neared the kitchen, the voices and laughter got louder.

"you said what?" graces voice rang out with a small laugh that sounded like it was caused from disbelief.

"i said i didn't see a future past the carnival with her. i didn't mean to hurt her feelings but that was inevitable." harvey replied.

i turned the corner but stayed my distance so that i could see what exactly was going on. grace was sitting on the counter watching harvey put something in the fridge.

"you know you're hopeless right?" grace said, shaking her head and laughing shortly at the end.

harvey sighed. "yes." he said looking at her and not being able to stop himself from laughing, which caused grace's sweet laughter to fill the air too. i didn't mind her laugh one bit. but harvey's? i live with his laugh practically haunting our home every day.

harvey closed the fridge and turned around, his eyes landing on me and going to grace then back at me. grace turned around, her smile gently easing a little.

"hey grace." i said, not sure if i should move toward her or if that would make her upset.

"well, i think i'll go and let you two y'know...talk." harvey said, looking at me then smiling at grace. "i'll talk to you later grace." he said, heading towards the front door. "okay bye harvey." she said calmly as she smiled at him while he walked out and closed the door.

grace hopped off the counter. when she landed, she was out of balance due to the fact that her belly was now bigger than i'd realized before.

i quickly ran over and steadied her by grasping her wrists and pulling her towards me. she looked up at me. my hands slowly found their way to hers, holding them gently.

"before you say anything grace, just know i am sorry. i wasn't thinking straight, i was just trying to protect you but it turned out to be hurtful and i didn't mean for that to happen." i told her, in all honesty.

the truth was that i was scared to hear her words. i didn't know what she would say. i didn't know exactly what she thought of me, although i had an idea. i don't think she could ever know just how horrible i felt about everything, and that's what made everything worse.

"i know. and i do forgive you for it because i know where your intentions were coming from. i know you were and have been trying to keep this from everyone and i appreciate that max." she said, touching my face and looking deeply into my eyes.

butterflies.

"there's just this thought that the things you said were buried deep down. i keep wondering if you meant them and i know you probably didn't. but why would then come out if you don't actually think that?" she said, removing her hand from my cheek and looked down, tears were obviously forming in her eyes.

"those words weren't even close to what i think about you grace." i said, lifting her head up to look at me. there were a couple of small tears making their way down to her cheeks. i wiped them away with my thumbs, keeping my hands on both sides of her face.

"you can't be compared to anyone else i've ever met. you are so strong and so kind. you're that girl that people are jealous of because of how generous and beautiful you are. i don't know where i'd be without you because you guide me to make the right decisions. i don't know who i was when i was without you." i paused for a second. "i said those things at first to make sure no one was wondering about you. but i was drunk, like an idiot, so i kept going for their entertainment and that is so wrong. i don't know why i mess things up so badly or act as if i don't have a functioning brain sometimes, but i do know that i love you. i'm in love with you." i said. the full truth had finally found its way to the surface, and i meant every word of it.

her lips formed a smile, making me smile in return.

"i love you too max." she replied. her words made my heart swell, which also caused my lips to find hers.

butterflies.