illuminate s.m

[1.9] home again

home again

-:-:-:-

    I'm sitting on the plane on my way home again. Beside me sits Magnus and he is looking down at his phone, probably snaping his girlfriend. Inrest my head against my pillow on the seat, tired from the lack of sleep. I try to sleep for a good two hours but it doesn't work, and when the food comes I feel the sudden urge to thow up, so I excuse myself to go to the toilet. As fast as I get inside the door I stand over the toilet, emptying my stomach of my previous meal. I hear the door open but I'm too busy trying to keep over the toilet so I don't bother looking for whoever came in. I hear the door lock being slid to the side and a hand on my back. "Oh Adria." Apparently it's Jas trying to help me. She holds my hair back as I finish. I slowly get up, not wanting to sit on the disgusting toilet floor. "What's going on?" She asks.

I look down at the floor, trying to keep the rest inside as I silently speak up. "Didn't sleep much and it makes me nauseous."

"Darling why? Is it the nightmares?" I nod confirming, scared of what happens if I open my mouth again. "Okay, I'll swap seats with Magnus for now." I go to protest but she shushes me and is about to unlock the door. "Will you be okay?" I nod and let out a small smile as I turn towards the mirror trying to make my appearance better. After five minutes I give up when I realise that nothing can take away the blue rings under my eyes or the sickly pale skintone.

I unlock the door and make my way back to my seat. As I sit down once again I pick up my phone to see the time but is distracted by a message on my phone.

Message from Shawn:

Morning! How are you?

A smile form on my lips at his question and I can hear his voice asking whenI read . I text him back, which he soon replies to.

Message from you:

Morning<3 Okay, but feeling a bit off today.. wby?

Message from Shawn:

Sorry to hear that.. trouble sleeping again? Or just sick? And I'm hot... because LA is hot you know.

Message from you:

Yeah sure. And it's the sleeping.

Message from Shawn:

Then you should get some sleep, don't let me bother you. Sleep tight hun<3

I put my phone away and rest my head back again. I pull my jacket over myself and cudle into the hood of my hoodie. Within a few minutes sleep takes over me and I'm soundlessly drifting off to another world.

-:-:-:-

As my moms car parks inside the gates of my home in Hampstead Heath I feel myself letting out a breath of relieve. Home means no paparazzi allowed, and it means that you have time for yourself. Privacy. Oh how I miss that.

My mom takes my bag as we step out of the car. I grab my guitar, and I feel the need in my fingers to play the ones that I left home while being away. Someone from the crew that left early has already dropped my Strat home so now I have all 7 guitars. My home isn't filled with them but I feel like I have many even though it's never enough. As I unlock and open the door I'm met with the smell of fresh flowers. I pull my shoes off my the door and make my way into the livingroom. I put my guitarcase down and walk into the kitchen for a glass of water.

What I see makes my day. Nadine is sitting at the kitchen table with a full meal in front of her. I quickly hug her and step back to take a look at everything. There is flowers on the table and she has cooked spaghetti carbonara which is my all time favourite. "I love you Nadine I really do!"