COMPLETED • If I Die Young // A Brittana Fanfic

Stage 4: Closure

"Brittany?"
I swallow hard and rub my eyes vigorously wondering what the hell was happening.

"This can't. You're not. But I thought....huh? I need to sit down." I stammer and stumble all over the place.

The whole rooftop was spinning like a whirlwind and I had lost my mind now as well. This was just perfect.

"Brittany, you're not real. You died! I saw you in the casket.....Right?"

"I'm as real as you want me to be...
But I know you weren't about to jump off that ledge, were you?"

Brittany voice sounded the same but more velvety. More rich. Her hair grew and it was more golden. Her skin a glowing bronze. She looked stunning. This was the most beautiful I had ever seen her. She stood at least 10 feet away and I was scared to approach her in fear that she might dissolve into thin air.

"I was. I can't do this anymore Britt. I miss you so much." I finally sit down and hug my knees and Brittany walks towards me like angel. She looks like she's floating. This is all so overwhelming.

"You're Santana Lopez. You can do anything, remember?"

That smile. I've missed it so much.

"What are you doing here? Are you just in my imagination?" I ask as I stare at her in amazement.

"I came to stop you from doing something irreversible. And I told you, I'm as real as you want me to be."

"Why shouldn't I jump though? I'm hurting. And It's like nobody cares that you're gone. The stupid year book couldn't even put a damn page in dedicated to you. Is it that fucking hard?"

"Santana..." Brittany cooed softly as she sat down beside me. I wanted so badly to hug her and never let go. But I was trembling with fear that as soon as I touched her she'd disappear.

"You can't die like this. This isn't right. It's not your time yet, you have so much to offer the world."

"Oh yeah?" I scoff. "Well it doesn't mean anything, now that you're gone. It wasn't your time yet either! This is stupid." The warmth in my eyes had returned and the tears streamed down my cheeks.

But then my breath catches in the back of my throat when she wipes them away gently with her thumb and brushes some of my hair behind my ear.

"But it does sweetie. You won't understand it now. But one day, I promise that you will. And It means everything. You know how I know?"

"Because you're a genius?"

"Exactly...." She thought to herself briefly.

"I'm happy Rachel and Quinn have been taking really good care of you. Keep them around. You'll neeed them."

I nod, and then I frown again.

"Britt...did you hear anything I said today. At the funeral?"

Brittany looks into the sky and then back down at me. "I heard every word."

My smile creeps across my lips and I feel just a tad bit better that she knew how I felt.

"I'm proud of you for coming out to your Abuela. That was very brave, you know. You thought you couldn't do it, but I knew you could San."

"I know. I thought I couldn't do it without you."

"You couldn't see me, but I was there. I'll always be here. Even when you can't see me. And don't worry about your Abuela. She'll come around, trust me." Brittany assures and I know she's telling the truth.

"So what happens after this? Will I ever see you again?" I say becoming frantic that this glimpse of hope would soon be gone.

"You won't see me for a very long time. But yes, again one day."

She stood to her feet and I felt my heart tremble.

"Brittany please don't go. I need you! I'll just jump, and we can be together...I'll do anything, But I can't lose you again." I start to shake and Brittany holds my hands. I feel peace suddenly wash over my entire body and I exhale.

"No Santana." She says in a harsh tone she's rarely ever used with me. "You need to stay. It isn't your time yet. Everyone has a time to go and yours isn't for a very very long time."

"But what's the point of staying if I don't have you? I just wanna be with you. It's like I'm trying to create you here but you're gone and what if.....I forget you? What if everyone forgets about you? I can't take this." My heart was breaking all over again and I had wondered if it would've been better if I'd never seen Brittany again at all. It wouldn't hurt so much inside.

She lifts my chin up and looks me in my eyes.
"Then don't die for me, live for me."
I tilt my head to the side as I try and fully recieve that message.

"Without you here, who's gonna talk about all of the awesome times we had. Who's gonna remember me in glee club or talk about me to the upcoming students? Who's gonna tell our story? Who's gonna tell your grandkids?"

My stomach churns thinking that far ahead and Brittany not being there.

I shake my head because I know the answer. But I don't want to hear it.

"Just because my life ended, doesn't mean yours has to."
Brittany runs her palm against my cheek gently before placing the softest kiss I've ever felt on my lips.

"I'm in love with you too Santana. I think I have been since the first day I met you."

My heart fills with joy and dread all at once. I wanna pull my hair out for waiting so long when we could've been together. We could've been happy.

"I know you feel guilty. But know there's nothing you could've done differently. This was suppose to happen this way. I know it hurts right now, but you'll be okay. Just stay strong for me."

Brittany let's go of me and I feel the life drain from my body. She looks up to the sky and she grins a wide toothy smile.

"Do you see that?"

Confused, I look up to the sky and I shake my head.

"No. What's up there?"

"A light. It's so pretty."

"Is it heaven?" I look up wishing I could see it. I'm so intrigued at this point.

"I'm not sure. But this place is awesome. They have unicorns and Nutella and stickers. You're gonna love it here."

I try not to cry again but it's too late. I knew what was happening and there was nothing I could do about it.

Brittany was fascinated by this invisible light that I couldn't see and she was gravitating towards it. The closer she got to it the more blurry the image of her became.

"Take care of yourself Santana. And know that I am always with you. Always."

"You promise?" I can barely speak through my tears.

"I promise. Oh and take care of Lord Tubbington for me too, please. I know he misses me. Remember to give him his vitamins."

"Of course Britt. By— I mean. See you later."

Brittany smiled softly. She turned back around and kept walking. She walked until I couldn't see her anymore. She was gone. And in that moment, I felt like I was gone too.

"I love you Brittany." I whispered before I dozed off, right there on the rooftop.