Masked

Preface

I can recal the exact moment I realized I was different. I was probably ten or eleven years old. My mother's friend from work Daniel used to watch my sister and I while my mom would take a kickboxing class.

I was obsessed with him. I would beg my mom to leave so I could see Daniel. All of the time I just wanted to be around him. Granted, he always played toy cars with me and let me win at every video game. But it was more than thinking an older man was cool, I was intriugued by him on another level.

At thirteen I can remember a conversation I had with a few guy friends. They were all obsessed with this girl Becky Smart. We sat around the round table in the cafteria while they all stared at her while she bent over to pick up a pencil. Their grins were wide and their eyes even wider.

Her blonde hair was cascaded around her face and her green eyes lit up the room. Her smile could make anyone happy, well anyone but me I guess. She did absolutely nothing for me, except I was always envious of her style.

I had no problem hiding the way I felt, it was like living a double life.

It wasn't so much that I wasn't comfortable with myself I just couldn't picture how my life would change if I told everyone.

I was much more content keeping it inside, it was never really a problem.

The first person I ever told was my mom. 

I cried in her arms for three hours and she held me kissing my full head of hair promising me that I was going to be okay. She told me over and over that she would love me no matter what. After my mom, my sister was next to find out and she was just as supportive. 

Besides the two ladies in my life, I never spoke of it again.

Until I met Louis.