Masked

Lie

I couldn't even tell you what my life was like before Louis. 

I can't even recall anything but the day he walked into that room.

I was still struggling with our relationship. I just wanted to know that Louis was totally okay with it all. I needed the reassurance constantly.

"I love you Haz and I love that I love you," he would tell me.

I would often wonder about his parents, would I ever meet them? He always told me one of his sisters and I would get along quite well.

"It just can't happen Harry," was his excuse.

I tried to wrap my mind around it.

"What's the worst that can happen?" I would always think to myself.

If they ever kicked him out he could come and live with me.

If they stopped loving him, I would love him that much more.

That night when went out to eat was the most public we ever were.

Whenever he came to visit me that summer we normally stayed in my house.

He never kissed me in public, we just acted like friends.

I was okay with it as long as I had Louis.

It was just nice to think about sometimes, how we could be together like a real couple.

People could spend their whole lives looking for a love like ours, but they wouldn't even know it.

Every morning I would fear that Louis would wake up and decide he wasn't okay with any of it anymore.

I feared he would decide that he wanted to go back to his life before me.

It was nearly August when I found out that he did.

He was coming to visit me and I was happier than ever.

"Hey," he gave me a quick kiss when he got out of the car.

I remember wondering why he seemed distant but feared starting an argument over something so small.

He followed me inside and threw his bags on to the bed.

"So what's the plan for today?" he asked.

I told him that I wanted to cook dinner together and eat in the dining room with candles lit. He laughed at me but agreed to it anyway.

We both stood in the kitchen while I prepared the sauce and he grilled the chicken.

"This is nice," I smiled while the thick scent of basil filled my nostrils.

He nodded.

Once the meal was finished we sat on opposite sides of the long table.

"This is actually really good," he joked.

"I know," I smiled.

We finished eating and decided to watch a movie.

I sat with his arms wrapped around me on the couch. My legs were resting on his and occasionally I would look up at him and give him a kiss.

When he got up in the middle of the movie to use the bathroom his phone slid out of his pocket and into one of the cushions. 

I slid my hand between the couch to get it and felt it vibrate.

That's when I saw a text from her.

It said something like "Babe, what time are you coming over tomorrow?"

I tried my best to put the phone back on the couch and act like I didn't see a thing. 

I fought my hands while they slid to unlock his phone, revealing their conversations.

I tried to squeeze my eyes shut while I read through message after message.

When I heard the bathroom door shut I placed his phone next to me.

I couldn't even tell you what my face must have looked like but I do remember fighting back a million emotions at once.

"What's wrong?" he asked me.

I couldn't even answer. 

I was battling my mouth that wanted to scream, my mind that wanted to walk away and my heart that wanted to break.

"Nothing."

He sat down next to me and pressed play on the remote.

After several minutes I excused myself to the bathroom.

I threw up twice.

I was embarrassed when I found out he could hear me.

He rushed to the door.

"Harry, let me in. Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," I said through the door while wiping the vomit from my lips.

I opened the door slowly and Louis entered.

"You look horrible Haz," he said while I cringed at the use of his pet name for me.

"I must have the stomach flu," I said through my teeth.

"Let me go to the store for some medicine," he offered.

"I'm fine. Maybe you should go," I returned.

"What? Why would I leave?" he asked.

"I don't want you getting sick," I lied.

"I don't care," he said.

"I do. Please, I couldn't live with myself if I knew that I was the one that made you this way," I whined so he would believe me.

"I'm only leaving because you're making me," he said while he was getting into his car.

I nodded.

He tried to kiss me but I warned him about the germs.

"I love you," he lied.

As I turned to go back into my house I felt nauseous once again. 

I made my way back to the bathroom and wrapped myself around the toilet bowl.

I slept there that night.