Masked

Her

I remember the day that Louis decided to break up with her quite well, actually.

Of all the days I spent with him it was one that always stuck with me.

He sat on the floor of the room we once shared and stared at me.

"Do you love her?" I asked.

"I'm not sure what love is anymore," he said to me.

I was very sure what love was, It was him.

Everything about him.

"I can't keep lying to her," he said.

"You can't keep lying to yourself either," I thought in my head.

"Lou, you have to do what feels right," I said to him.

"Everything that feels right in my heart feels wrong in head," he said.

I pushed my body on the floor to be right next to him.

"What do you want me to do?" he looked at me.

"Be with me," the words rushed out.

"I will see you on Monday," he stood up and left the room.

He didn't bother telling me what his plan was, where he was going, or what he was thinking.

I was getting used to him at this point. The way he always left, the way he never said what was on his mind.

I was mostly okay with it because I always knew what he was thinking anyway.

I spent the rest of the weekend waiting for Monday.

>>>>

Sure enough that Monday morning Louis rushed into my room.

"How was your weekend?" I avoided asking the obvious questions.

"I did it," he let out a large breath of air.

"Did what?" I played dumb.

"I ended things," he told me.

"How do you feel?" I asked.

"I feel like I did the right thing," he sighed with relief.

"That's good," I didn't even bother asking him how she took it.

Quite frankly, I didn't care.

"Want to grab something to eat?" I asked him.

"In public?" he asked.

"Don't we always get food in public?" I mimiced his choice of words.

"Not since we started this," he spit the words at me.

"And you think that every person out there will know the difference? And besides who cares what anyone knows Lou?" I asked him.

"Are you fucking kidding me Harry?" he stood up and raised his voice.

"What?" I whispered.

"I care what people know, do you know what my father would do to be if he found out I was a fucking fag," his words cut deeper than he expected them to and the look on his face made that quite obvious.

"I'm sorry for saying that Harry," he instantly apologized.

"I'm just going to go, I'm hungry and then I have class, lock the door when you leave," I made my exit and hoped so badly that he would chase after me.

When he never did, I realized how hard it was really going to be.

Getting rid of her was the least of our problems, he was never going to be okay with us and there was nothing I could do about it.

I walked the length of campus to get something small to eat before I sat in the back of a class that I hardly ever paid attention to.

When it had hit me that the year was coming to an end it was hard to believe.

I hadn't accomplished much other than fall into a deep, hopeless love.