Reviews [CLOSED]

Banished

Reviewed by: LadySapphire2018

Author: FelixtheToon

Cover: 5/10.

It's cute, but a little on the basic side. The font is readable and the color scheme is nice though. I just don't think that it conveys the sense of urgency that the summary gives.

Description/Summary: 7/10.

The summary does a good job explaining what a reader can expect from this tale and I did appreciate the fact that the author included warnings. Overall this was a good summary, but it could have been elaborated on.

Chapter One Review: 8/10.

I found this chapter mostly cute. It was a good concept and it's easy to understand. I do like her father is the Moon and that was a great cliffhanger.

Activity of the Writer: 10/10

The writer appears to be very active and makes an effort to respond to comments.

Plot: 7/10

I feel as though this story would have been improved by a slower introduction, but I do like that the plots is so easy to understand and unique. Some choices by characters weren't particularly logical. So I would mostly recommend this story if you're looking for a fun and easy read and not worried about apply 'real world standards' to it.

Any other things: 6/10

I feel that this story can be drastically improved by going back and adding an extra space between paragraphs. That will make it easier for readers to make more inline comments. I also liked the short chapters, but I do feel that somewhat longer chapters could be beneficial for this story.

Overall Advise: 

My main advice would be pacing. This story is fast moving with a major development seeming to happen in every chapter. I feel like her relationship with her father should be elaborated on and longer chapters would give you a chance to add more depth to this story. Oh and as I said, spacing between paragraph is an issue. Luckily, that is an easy one to fix. I do sense a lot of potential in this story though and I encourage you to keep writing.