Reviews [CLOSED]

Enough! Revenge of a Damaged Woman!

Reviewed by: Dave-M

Author: Darkroyally

Chapters read: 7

Cover: [ 4/10 ]

The cover was simple. The girl holding the knife really synergized with the genre and theme of the book, but one problem is: the font and font color.Unlike the woman with the knife, the font style and color didn't cooperate with the genre of the book. I feel like bold letters doesn't make it interesting. Instead, it makes it look like a 1980's comedy movie poster. The placement of the title is also a problem since it's way seperated, try to exclude the space and put it direclty below the enough to make it more appealing.
Overall. the cover was great with exception of the title. A few changes then it can look interesting and attractive.

Description/Summary: [ 6/10 ]

The description was short, but pro here is that it gave insight on what may happen on the story. Though the last sentence in the description kinda put the mysterious vibe in it. That should've been followed by more description such as the cons of what would happen if it continues.Yes, it was logical for her to dream about her ex-husband but the sentence was such a contrast to: "Finally living the life she deserves". Better sentencing will make it more appealing. Now for the first paragraph: I thought it was too short and was lacking action. A longer description complete with unanswered questions that may compell a reader to read your story would greatly impact your story.

Chapter Review: [ 2/10 ]

I was confused at some points when I was reading the story. Example is chapter 1 & 2. She had a stab wound in the stomach, a bleeding head, buried alive, yet had the ability to run away. Ashton's response was quite unnatural too. If I saw a woman with grievous wounds, I would contact the police immediately and drive her to the nearest hospital but for him he nursed her back to health. I also felt that Ashton and the woman's relationship was quite forced. There were no clues if they ever had affectionate interactions in the six months that had progressed. There are still lots of many unrealistic events that happened, though these are the most major that needs to be mentioned.

There were also severe grammatical errors and spelling problems, and the narrative flow of the story was too fast-paced that it had proven to be confusing. Quotation was also a problem. Character quotations should always begin with a capital letter and end with a punctuation mark (you missed it sometimes). I have also noticed that you had combined two characters' quotations on a single paragraph, which was confusing on who was speaking. Separate two characters' speech by putting them in different paragraphs. It avoids confusion
The description of the scenes also had errors and it made it quite hard to create a scene in my head since, as I said, it's too fast paced. Another problem is that world-building and characters weren't described too. I don't have any idea what she or Ashton may have looked like, what the house might've looked like, what the town may have looked like, anything. If it weren't for the pictures provided, I wouldn't be able to envision them. Try to create your characters on a way that the readers may use the pictures provided as the characters' final look, or let them use their creativity to create their own understanding of your characters with clues and descriptions.

Activity of the writer [ 6/10 ]

I have seen that you weren't that active in your story board and in your book. 

Plot: [ 6/10 ]

The plot was quite cliché. An abused girl gets beaten to the verge of death but got saved by a stranger. It's common in romance novels.

Anything else:

This story has so much potential in it. With tweaking and a few changes to the plot and lots of editing, this would be a great story that I will read!

Overall Advise:

Try to be more descriptive. Be more aware of your spellings and grammar. Focus on character development. Steer clear of cliches. Lastly, try to add more realism in the story (make some points in the story relatable to what you will do if you were ever in the character's shoes.)