Reviews [CLOSED]

Mine

Reviewed by: zoejcarpenter

Author: hellocheeky

Cover: 8/10

Okay - I really love this cover! You can tell from the colour scheme you have used what the genre is, and it’s extremely fitting for your storyline. However, the actual title you have used doesn’t stand out as much as it could, and it did take me a few seconds to figure out what it said at a first glance. Overall, I do really love this cover as it is unique and fits the theme.

Description/Summary: 8/10

Your summary really sets the scene and brings readers up to a high expectation level of the story content. It also includes key information, and gives off vibes that the story is going to be a real page turner. Unfortunately, there are a couple of sentences that I feel didn’t quite make sense, mainly the part about the ‘strong likeness of the victims’ and ‘one of the first news...’. Aside from this, the description is exceedingly hooking and has me really looking forward to pressing the read button!

Activity/engagement with readers: 4/10

I looked through your conversation and activity section of your profile, and then looked at your comments in the book so I’ll break it down :)

-Activity section:

There’s not a lot to say on this section aside from the fact you’ve also entered a gazillion other review books! This is perfectly fine however it may make the reviewer feel like their work will be less appreciated due to it potentially being lost in a sea of other reviews. However you’ve always engaged with reviewers and expressed your gratitude which is always a good thing.

-Conversation section:

A while ago you seemed to engage with anyone who left a message here however recently this seems to have been lacking, and there has been a succession of posted messages who have gone without a response. Many of these are people thanking you for following/voting on their story, which can just be replied with a simple ‘no problem’ or ‘I really enjoyed your story!’ Because that’s what really gets people feeling good about their work and takes 0.5 seconds to create happiness.

-Comments section: so you clearly get comments which is really great, however (for example) on the first chapter, since may 2017 you’ve received 79 comments and have only replied to a few. Since this averages around 5 a month that should mean you only needed to spend maybe 10 minutes maximum per MONTH replying, which is such a miniature amount of time there can’t really be an excuse for not engaged with the readers who’ve spent time to try and engage with you.

Chapter reviews: 6/10

I read the first five chapters, and these are my thoughts on the first three, which are the only chance you get to hook your readers. I wrote these as I was reading your chapter so these are my very first impressions:

-One: I really liked how you set the scene for Wendy’s part of the story, and how we get a small insight into both her past and present, which has smooth transitions between the two. It does seem to drag, however, which is unfortunate because it’s a really promising looking story.

-Two: it has the same vibe as chapter one, which had the vibe of a filler chapter, which is absolutely fine for the first chapter, which is normally setting the scene anyway. But suddenly around a half of the way through, the story seems to contrast the original feel, and speeds through information at an alarming rate, which is slightly confusing. 

-Three: the story continues to drag her move at an exceedingly fast rate. The content is all there but it seems like you’ve flipped what should be focused on, the important parts going to fast and the unimportant details being dragged out too much.

Plot: 7/10

I do like the idea behind it, it has many good aspects and I can see how it could keep a reader hooked, however the actual telling of the story does let it down. It is a well thought out plot and has lots of potential.

Other:

I LOVE the idea of the optional visual part of the story, it’s an amazing and unique idea which I feel other writers should incorporate into their works to provide an all round experience. Furthermore - your grammar is exceptional and I can’t recall seeing a mistake :)

Overall Advise: 

I think I covered it all but to summarise the advice I would give:

•clearer title 

•check the couple of sentences in the summary

•be a lot more engaging - spending maybe 10 minutes a week replying to comments and feedback with really reflect well on you as an author

•be mindful of how you pace your story

Thank you for letting me review your book :)