Looking For Leo

17: Lucky

Angela's hands clutches my arm as she sits on the seat at the balcony. Raphael leans against the railings while Alice stands beside him a little shocked. I look down at Angela who seems to be handling things a little better. She's surprised as well, but tries to understand the situation, asking the questions as if she's organizing our way to finding out the truth slowly.

We share our sides of the story and Raphael would always sneer. I could tell he's upset at me because of the way I treated him back home for leaving every night when clearly, I have been doing almost the same.

"So we've been hiding secrets from each other...when it would have helped us both if we just spoke up." Alice mutters, making Angela chuckle nervously.

"This is crazy. But funny." Angela says, staring up at me. I look down at her. 

"Oh it's crazy alright. Too fucking crazy." Raphael speaks up, but his angry tone makes me glance at him. He's glaring at me. "Isn't it crazy how you scold me every single night while you're out here--" he does not finish it. Alice clutched his hand, making him stop.

I felt relieved when he didn't finish his sentence. I did not want to make a scene, I did not want to fight with him tonight. After all, we should have each other's backs. This should not break us apart further.

"You're such a hypocrite." He still manages to tell me. I notice he didn't pull away from Alice's hand, but he turns his glaring eyes away from me. 

Angela squeezes my arm but I don't look at her. I keep my eyes on Raphael who's clearly hurt at the way I acted back then when all he wanted was to see the love of his life. I watch how they hold each other.

"I'm sorry, Raph," I say sincerely. He does not look at me, so I continue, "I'm sorry about everything. It was my fault."

Not even a sneer. Raph just leans against the railings. Alice stands there, looking at me, listening. She gives me a slight, comforting smile.

"I'm sorry." I repeat. Raph finally stands up still, glances at me, then nods once.

Angela sighs and stands up. She squeezes my hand this time, "Alright. I think it's better if we all just sit down inside, get comfortable and just talk...about the good things. Okay?"

Nobody answers her but Alice smiles and nods.

She turns to me and rubs my back, "Sounds good, Leo?" She whispers and I nod at her. But as she walks to the door, Raph speaks up, "Leo and I will catch up with you both." 

I understood and they do, as well. The sisters leave us both.

"I'm sorry for being a hypocrite." I say.

"Just because you lead this group does not mean you have can't resort to doing other things that appear lax or unnecessary. Like I don't know, getting a girl. I just--" Raph glances at me, "--I can't imagine being a 'hero' for the rest of our lives without getting something even just a little bit in return, you know."

I nod. I let him talk more.

"So when I found something in return that finally benefits me, I was so happy. I was so happy to be treated normal. I was happy I met this amazing girl. But going home and having to hide it really fucked me up, Leo."

"I know that. It fucked me up, too." I defend myself,

He shakes his head, "Then you should not have opposed me, Leo. It was so damn easy to tell us. We're brothers. We're supposed to help each other."

I sneer, "You hid it from us, too!"

"Yeah because you're always on my business and freaking out about me patrolling. So I thought, what more if I tell ya I'm seeing a human?"

He's right.

"I'm sorry."

"And what's wrong with you, anyway? You telling me these ironic things while you were out doing the damn same?"

"--I was scared, Raph!"

He's silent but he turns away.

"And...I envied you." 

Raph glances at me quickly. But I can't look at him now. This is the first time I'm saying these things. But I know it's the truth. It's about time I'm honest.

"I envied your guts to get out whenever you wanted despite my blabbering mouth or--or--or even Master Splinter. Hell, you had the guts to tell him you were leaving us for her! Which I don't quite agree with but still, you had the fucking balls to do all that for her. And I envied that because...I'm a coward. I could not do it." I sigh, and look around. "But I thought about it just after you left. And I told Master Splinter as well."

"You what?!"

I look at him, "He knows about Angela, too. And surprisingly, he allows it...at least that's what I got from it. He said that to love is to live. I guess he also don't want us to be hidden forever like soldiers in the night. He wants us to have at least a bit of freedom as long as this damned universe allows us to be led to them."

"I love Alice." He says. I nod. "And I know you love Angela. I know they'd be hurt if we keep fighting."

I look at my brother. 

"I'm sorry about what I said about you. Though, I meant it, you were a hypocrite, but I think it's time we just move past this."

I nod, "Agreed." I hold out my hand. He grabs it firmly and we move it once as a truce.

"Afterall, how many turtle people do we know who's going through this?"

I could not help but laugh at Raphael's comment. It's true. There was silence again.

"Alice is so damn...beautiful." He suddenly let out as if he had been keeping that in for a long time. I shake my head.

"Finding Angela is like finding a gold mine in a sea of mud." 

He laughs, "So fucking lucky, bro."

"So lucky." I agreed.

Indeed, we were.

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Hang on, it's not the end just yet! The rest of the chappies are just pure fluff for Raph and Leo lovers and readers! Thank you so much for sticking around, guys.