Damaged~ Broken Book 4

A (Ch.14) <3>

I walked into the kitchen trying to avoid people. Logan and Patton have been up my ass all night asking me all these questions. It took everything just to get away to go shopping. I have no idea what Roman's doing. He honestly looked like he was really upset the last time I saw him His smile was obviously fake. Or at least it was to me. AND DECEIT... That slippery snake has been trying to find me all night.

"That asshole in the mask..." Speak of the devil. Wait no, thats me... Speak of the serpent... I tensed up as Deceit's voice came from behind. "That was you too wasn't it?" Was he talking about when the mind palace was attacked? "You burned the place down didn't you?"

"Deceit..."

"No, let me finish." But you asking me a question. " You burned the place down but still went got things that were important to us. you even managed to grab Roman's sketchbook... or should I say your sketchbook." It wasn't easy. The damn thing just about caught on fire. I managed to grab it just before teleporting out of his room.

"What are you asking me?"

"I thought it was weird that Nagini just stayed with you without any problems."

"DECEIT!?"

"Why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you tell me? Why did let me think you died? Why didn't you come back?" Deceit turned and looked away. "Why did you let me think it was all my fault?"

"Deceit... I..."

"Save it. I... don't know if I actually want to hear the truth." I looked down at my hands, think back about all I've been through. 

"Fine then." I put my hands down and went to set the table. I had finally just got back from picking some groceries up. I also cheated and got some Chinese food. I didn't really feel like cooking after the soup spilled on me. "I didn't tell you because I hated you all, I could trust you and I just wanted to get out of all this. I let you think I was dead because it was the best thing short of actually dying. That way I had no obligation to actually come back. I never came back because I was happy, far far away from you all. I let you think it was your fault because it was your fault. All of it was. I had no part in it and I was just relieved when I had an out."

Deceit spun around and tears fell from my eyes. I tried to smile but It looked horrible, I couldn't stop crying. I never thought about how much this would affect him. I just thought they would move on, but I was so stupid. He blamed himself for not getting me to leave. He blamed himself for not stopping me. He blamed himself for getting caught and me coming to save him. He blamed himself for it all. 

"I am so so sorry." I barely whispered it out. Deceit just smiled and laughed at me.

"Is that a lie to or..." I cut him off by pulling him into a hug. I never meant to cause them pain. I just couldn't forgive myself. I still can't... But that's it. No more running away. Just because I am anxiety doesn't mean running away from those I care about it a good option. It shouldn't even be an option... Well I guess now it isn't one, is it? I'm done running. It's time to get serious...

It's time for me to fight...