Damaged~ Broken Book 4

Deceit (Ch.15) <2>

"So... Why didn't you tell us... for real this time." Virgils eyes went a dark as he pulled himself from our hug.

"There really isn't an answer to that. I know I didn't come back because I was scared." I just stared at him shocked.

"Scared? Why would you be scared?"

"I was scared you wouldn't forgive me for what I did. I haven't even forgiven myself yet."

"Vir..."

"I'm serious Deceit. I'm terrified. I can't handle the fear, the anxiety and yes I know how that sounds. It's just..." Virgil turned away and finished setting up the table, placing his hands on the table to support himself when he was done. "If any of you looked at me with contempt... If any of you treated me differently... If any of you hated me, That would be it. I would have lost everything I loved right then and there. I couldn't risk it."

"Virgil.." I went up and spun him around having him look me right in the eyes. "None of us hate you. We love you. We miss you. When you died, we all were heartbroken. We didn't give a shit about what you did, just that you went with it. We NEVER blamed you for Onyx. We blamed Marcos if anyone."

"I'm so..." He buried his head in my chest still crying.

"Stop apologizing, None of this is on you." He just looked so broken. I looked up to see Roman standing there staring at Virgil. If anyone should be doing this it should be him, and he knows it. He took a step closer and held out his hand before hesitantly putting it back to his side and walking away. Damn it Roman, just talk to the guy. "Virgil, maybe you should tell Roman?"

"NO, NO, NO, NO, I CANT DO THAT!" He jumped up and started pacing, trying to hide the fact that he was violently shaking.

"Why not? You told Patton and Logan, I see it all over their faces. He's the only one of us that don't know." Though, he actually does. They just need to talk this out. Virgil sat down on the floor, picked his knees up, and just cried into a fetal position.

"I-I c-can't... He'll h-hate m-me for s-sure."

"I happen to know he won't. He loves you, Virgil. He told you so himself."

"He LOVED me. Past tense. I broke his heart and now with this... I can't do it... He'll..."

"VIRGIL!"

"Deceit, I love him! I love him more than anything else in the world. I can't lose him."I walked over, went on my knees, pulled him back into a hug, rubbing circles on his back. "I just can't."

"I understand... and so will he. I know he will." He just shook his head and laughed very sadly.

"Your Deceit, It's your job to lie and my us feel better." I pulled away from him and made him look at me. I gave him the most serious face I could.

"I am not lying to you. I never would and you know that."

"Deceit..."

"You right it's my job to make this seem better than they are. Ignorance is bliss. What you don't know won't kill you, but Virgil..." He blinked and more tears fell. It broke my heart. "If it already won't hurt you... If it's already good... Then why would I lie? If I were to lie right now I would be agreeing with you. Virgil, he loves you. He'll just be happy for you to tell him the truth."

"I... I... I cant..." I just smiled and sighed.

"You know... Sometimes you can be so hopeless." Virgil laughed and wiped away his tears. He got up and looked out the doorway, to where Roman was sitting on the couch. 

"I know."