The harder you try to make things right the worse everything seems to get. You try to be the person everyone wants you too be. But the harder you try to be that person the more you seem to disappoint and piss off the people that are suppose to love you. Then what are you suppose to do then? You feel trapped in your own life with no escape. Everyone blames you, when they fail to realize that sometimes you have no control over what happens.
Every day there is something new that someone doesnt like about you. Your tempter. Your "Attitude" Your cockiness when in reality you dont try to be that way. You can't help your tempter but thats what they fail to realize. They fail to realize that on a daily basis you look at yourself in the mirror and can barely stand to see yourself. You hate yourself with a passion but no one see that. No one sees the pain that you are in on a daily basis because you hide it. Knowing that if anyone found out about how bad you have actually gotten they would send you away to the doctors to try to dope you up because they are scared that you will take your life.
But they only fear that because they know they are the cause and becuase they don't actually listen to you. When you do open up to someone about how bad things have gotten its like your talking to a brick wall. Which in your head is better then talking to either yourself in a journal or talking to a stranger. But you just feel so helpless anymore.
When you realize that no one will ever truly understand you. So you stop trying to get help. You just write all that you feel in a notebook that you hope no one will ever see....
YOU ARE READING
That girl
RandomWhen we have depression, we often have to cope with dark thoughts and scary urges. These thoughts can seem to come on with no warning. They can feel completely overwhelming. Living alongside them is exhausting and at times very scary. And for those...
