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hurts so good _____
↬dedicated to jenzieforlife101 for being one of my closest friends ever _____
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I woke up staring at a white ceiling. I hardly tried to adjust to the bright light but it simply wouldn't work out. I closed my eyes again just before I asked myself where the heck I was and why my stomach hurt so bad.
I tried to sit up but I couldn't, every single part of my body hurt as hell. I turned my head to the right side and saw a red button. I didn't hesitate long and pushed it, but nothing happened. The room in which I was, I guess, was still as quiet as it was before I pushed the red button.
What the hell was going on? Where was I? And why was I here?
Suddenly the door swung open, I didn't know what was happening because I couldn't see a single thing except for the white ceiling. Then a freindly face appeared in my sight.
"How are you feeling Ms. Ziegler?" the woman asked while she smiled at me. I slightly opened my mouth to answer. "I'm fine, it's just... I can't really see anything and I really would want to know where I am and why." "You are in a hospital Ms. Ziegler, you came here to give birth to your baby." she chuckled at my question. My breath hitched and my eyes widened. "Where is it? Where is my baby? And why don't I remember that I gave birth to it?" The nurse went quiet and stared at me. "Ms. Ziegler, you are in a really bad physical condition right now, I think it's the best for you to rest and take a nap, maybe." "Yeah,umm...no! That's not gonna happen. Where is my baby, Miss..." I read the name sign on her uniform "...Lewis? I want my baby now! And why am I in a bad physical condition?" I hissed at her. Her eyes flickered and she tensed up, obviously becoming nervous at my reactions. "Please, Ms. Ziegler, you really should rest for now." "No, I won't. Give me my baby! Now!" I yelled at her, my blood boiling and my heart racing to the max. She took a step backwarts before she sighed and nodded. "Okay, fine. I'll send Mr. Orlando in here and I promise, he will explain everything to you."
Then she walked out of the room, leaving me behind, staring at the white ceiling again. I closed my eyes and let out a scoff. Okay, so I was in a hospital because I was supposed to give birth, but I couldn't remember that I gave birth. My stomach hurt as hell, I didn't know where my baby was and they said that Johnny would explain everything to me. Great, absolutely great. I had no idea why no one would talk to me.
"Oh my god you're awake!" I heard Johnny's voice and all of a sudden felt his strong arms wrapping around my body, embracing me into the biggest hug I was ever given to. "I obviously am." I said and let out a quiet laugher. He looked at me with a worried face expression. "How do you feel, are you okay? Can I do anything for you?" "Actually, yes." I said a little bit sassy. "Answer my questions. First of all, why don't I remeber that I gave birth to our baby? Second of all, why can't I get to see the baby? And third of all, why do you look so fucking worried and why do you have red and puffy eyes?" I asked him.
Just like the nurses reaction, Johnny went quiet and avoided eye contact with me. I became upset again and felt my body heat up in anger.
"Dear lord, why wouldn't anyone tell me what happened? Earth to John Vincent Orlando! Where is my baby?" I raised my voice and tried to hide my panic. Johnny sighed and gave me a sad look. "Mackenzie... listen, I don't really know how to explain what happened... honestly I have no idea how to live with the knowledge of what happened." He muttered under his breath and avoided looking at me again. "Just tell me. I'm old enough, I'm sure that I can handle it - whatever it is." I said through grittened teeth.
He closed his eyes for a moment and he wiped the sweat on his forehead away, before he parted his lips to, hopefully, explain what the hell happened.
"Okay, so... you remember that I brought you to the hospital, right?" he asked and I shook my head right. "Well, soon after we got here... y-you got a heart attac." My eyes widened and he swallowed hardly. He looked at his feet and continued talking. "The doctors could fix your condition... b-but the-they couldn't..." he hardly tried to continue talking, but he was cut off by his own hot tears streaming down his cheeks. "What, Johnny? What couldn't they do?" I asked, slightly paniced about what the answer was. "Mackenzie, don't you get it? T-they couldn't save the baby!" he managed to spill out, only to cause more tears streaming down his cheeks. I felt a stab in my heart and I felt that I couldn't move. "When you got the heart attac, your body almost stopped working completely. You were unable to give the baby what it needed to be alive." My heart reaced fast and my eyes started to water. "W- what do y- you mean, Johnny?" I asked with a shakey voice, almost too quiet to hear. "Mackenzie, you almost died! I almost lost you! The baby... it's- it's..." his voice cracked and I felt hot warm tears streaming down my face. "What is with the baby? What, Johnny?" I couldn't breathe while more tears escaped Johnny's eyes and he grabbed my hand, while he took another deep, yet painful breath. "After the doctors fixed your condition, they immediately brought you to surgery... but... when they got the b-baby out..." again his voice left him and he went quiet, crying and gasping for air.
I felt my whole body hurting, every inch. Everything that belonged to my existence hurt, because I could easily guess what happened, but I never wanted to believe it.
"What? What was when they got our baby out?" I struggeled to bring out the question. "It was- it was already dead! The doctors said, it died during your heart attac and-and..." Johnny cried out, but stopped talking as he couldn't take it anymore.
I felt my world bursting into a million pieces and pain I had never felt before came over me. Pain that caused me to scream, to cry out, to struggle to breath, to only want to die. It was the moment when I lost any sense in living, when I only wanted to die.
Johnny burst out in tears, I had never saw him like that before. Clinging on my hand as if his life dependet on it. My own hand burried in his hand and my fingernails dug into his skin while both our bodys split into a million of pieces from all the pain.
The pain that would never leave us. The pain we would have to live with, from now on. The pain we had... because we lost our baby.
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Characters:
Mackenzie Ziegler 18
Johnny Orlando 19
Lauren Orlando 17
Maddie Ziegler 20
Faith Munar 18
Melissa Gisoni 50
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a bitch was finally being productive and published the sequel to Our little secret!😚
