Voodoo Doll lhxai [discontinued]

Chapter Eight

"First off. . . I'm sorry."

Luke's mouth goes dry. "You-you're sorry? Why-what? I'm confused, Ash." Pulling off his sunglasses and squinting through his headache at Ashton. The older lad doesn't respond. "We were drunk. . . There isn't anything we really could've done to stop us." The words don't feel right coming from his mouth for some reason.

"Beside's drinking in the first place."

"Well, yeah." Luke shrugs and they fall in to an awkward silence.

Ashton scrunches his face and heaves and sigh. "Uh. . . but, Luke, I wasn't. . . I wasn't exactly drunk." After his statement they fall in to another silence. Ashton scoots slightly away from Luke on the bench they are sat at.

Luke's face suddenly feels hot. "You-what?" he splutters. "I was drunk, Ashton! You fucking took advantaged of me!" His voice rises as he talks - from a yell, to a near screaming tone.

"You consented."

"I was drunk!"

 "You're always drunk!"

"Ha, you sound like my mother." Luke glares at the brunette. "Stop fucking pinning this on me. I've never. . . done anything like that," his voice voice falls back down to a quiet yell, or a loud talk.

"I'm sorry!"

"Don't fucking apologize!"

"What am I suppose to do?"

"You could've just pretended that you were drunk too, and never talk about this ever again!" Ashton stares. "Take me to the dorms." Ashton just continues to stare. "Take. Me. Ba-"

"You promised we could talk," Ashton states, bluntly cutting him off.

"When did I say-"

"Last night." Ashton's short tone-of-voice is making Luke feel a bit short-tempered, but suddenly he does remember something.

"You took advantage of me being drunk, again!" He remembers Ashton calling him, early into the night. When he, Calum, and Michael were still at the bar. The conversation was quick, and Luke doesn't remember it, but the promise comes through his memories.

"You weren't that drunk. And I told you, I'm sorry!"

"I was drunk enough to not remember - until you told me! And I don't care that you're sorry. You're still a dick."

"Do you remember anything else I said last night?"

Luke rolls his eyes. "No."

Ashton lets out a sigh and Luke quirks an eyebrow. "What did I say las-"

Ashton cuts him short again, "Never mind. It's not important anyway."

"Stop that!"

Ashton gapes at him. "Stop what?"

"Stop, cutting me off! Stop pissing me off, I don't know."

"Oh, I'm pissing you off?" Ashton scoffs, "You know, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for not telling you about that night, and I get it that you didn't want to talk about it, and it's perfectly okay if you never want to talk to me again."

No matter how mad you are at Ashton Irwin, you probably wouldn't stay that mad for long. Luke was learning that now, looking at the tanned boy's drawn face as he stared down at his long fingers on the wooden bench. He was starting to forgive Ashton. Even though his heart was telling him that Ashton was being (and is) a total dick, his mind was telling him to forgive the poor lad.

"Why though?"

Ashton looks up at him with eyebrows scrunched together. "Why, what?" Luke couldn't deny that Ashton looked adorable. But adorable isn't the word you should be using to describe your completely (more or less) platonic relationship with someone.

"Why did you. . . want to have, you know. . ." Luke's face goes red, and puffs his cheeks. He doesn't know why, but he's very embarrassed right now; having this conversation in a tiny building where anyone may be able to hear them at any point. Children don't need to be hearing about sex until they are older, and definitely not from a couple of strangers at a park. He looks at Ashton, hoping he will get it.

"Yeah. . . I don't know. You're really hot." Luke's chest clenches suddenly. Ashton just called him hot. A boy just called him hot.

Luke has nothing against gays. He's grown up in a family that is completely okay with that. A gay aunt, a few gay cousins, and even Michael's bisexual. (He suspects Calum is too. There is something going on between him and Michael, Luke can sense it.) But he has never thought of himself liking anything other than girls. He's only ever liked girls his whole life. It doesn't feel right. Plus, so far he's only had any sort of feelings like that towards Ashton. Never anyone else.

Is it even possible to be attracted to guys and girls if you've only ever been attracted to one guy?

Did he just admit that he likes Ashton?

Luke finds it hard to breathe as he searches for words. "Um, Ashton? I don't know if - I don't know if I'm. . ."

"It's fine if you don't fine me attractive. Just know that I have a gaydar, so don't even try to lie to yourself."

"I'm not gay." Ashton's eyebrows raise. "I'm not! I'm. . . I don't know what I am." Luke slumps in his seat. "And I never said I didn't find you attractive." Luke's eyes widen and he mentally slaps himself. Why did I say that? he scolds. "Uh. . ."

Ashton laughs, only laughs.

"Are we, uh, can we be done." Luke rubs the back of his neck. He looks through one of the large windows of the pavillion. A bird hits the window. Luke feels like the bird; trying to make it through something that doesn't seem real. Oh, way to deep.

"Sure. Thanks, Luke," Ashton says. He stands up and Luke follows. Luke doesn't say anything, only watches the bird collect itself, and fly off. Luke wishes he could fly.

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Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh thisissoshit BUUUUUUUUT I promised an update soooooo here it isssssss and I ammmm so tirrrrred.

Jimmey Kimmel just came on and I'm gonna watch 5sos be hot on Late Night TV. Yay.

Night! Hope you guise likeeded it!

AND TY TO @_lalalarrying_ FOR THE AMAZING NEW COVERS!