Bowled Over By The Broken

Chapter 49: Swinging between edges

2nd August, 2018

Fun fact: I have updated more chapters in the last two months, than I did the past half year. #Alhamdulilah #PerksOfFinishingCollege 😉  

"And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour."

(Quran 17:23)

Chapter 49:

Swinging between edges

Ms. Anabya,

This is a reminder e-mail to inform you of your interview with us tomorrow, Tuesday, at 10:00 a.m. Please respond to this mail to confirm your presence.

Anabya stared at her phone screen, her fingers twitching to reply to the mail in affirmative. Her eyes burned due to the intensity with which she gazed at the message, and with a heavy sigh, she closed her eyes and glanced away, as she focused her attention to Shamaaz while he watched football.

For a minute, she stepped into his shoes, and seeing the world through his eyes, she realized how peaceful his life was at the moment. He had a promising career ahead of him, he had achieved his biggest childhood dream, people over the world admired him, he had a wife that he claimed to be in love with, in his view, their married life was going perfect, here he was chilling in his glamorous apartment while enjoying his current break from work - everything was calm and serene, he absolutely had no baggage of any sort.

And then there was Anabya! Oh, Anabya!

A deep thinker, a pessimist with an optimistic heart, letting herself feel more emotions than she could afford, halting her mind from over thinking into a future that she had no direction to, swinging between wanting to live a life on her terms and accommodating the happiness of everyone attached to her, too many red flags buried in the ground which she stood on, silently hoping they'd stay underground and things would get better on their own. She was the girl with dreams, but now she was ready to give room to reality, but that came with a heavy price tag of one sided compromise.

Anabya wondered if this is what her dearest brother, Furqaan felt when she hadn't allowed him to fight her battle for her and gave in to her mother's request of marrying Shamaaz. Because that's how she felt at the moment, she had been ready to face all challenges in her path, but knowing that her mum wasn't with her, she was absolutely helpless.

And so, with a heavy heart she wrote back to them, and stated that they could cancel the scheduled interview for she had personal commitments and she couldn't make it to work.

And if someone would question her on her commitments, she'd sigh and tell them, she was busy serving society's expectations that could never be met.

She felt disappointed. She felt disappointed in herself but there's nothing she could do about it, not when her mum was against it. Disrespecting her mother was never an option for Anabaya – never – and although she was hurt by her, and she absolutely wished her mum could think about her daughter and her happiness, she'd never go against her. As long as she didn't ask her to go against Islam, she would not go against her, even if that decision hurt her, even if that made her upset with her mother, disobedience was not an option, not even after being married and living a life of her own. That was the culture she was raised in, because while her happiness resided in the job she had been looking forward to, she couldn't go ahead with it if it meant doing so earning her mother's displeasure. Because the way she saw it, Allah would definitely love the fact that she was serving the society, but what mattered more to Allah, The Most High, was obedience to your parents and weighing them both, she was left with no other option.