Bowled Over By The Broken

Chapter 31: A New Journey

3rd September, 2017

"Whoever would like his provision to be increased and his lifespan to be extended, let him uphold the ties of kinship." 

(Al-Saheeh)

 Chapter 31:

A New Journey

Anabya loved her room, a little more than any normal person would.

She had lived here since her birth and she didn't think anyone would understand the kind of connection she shared with this place. She was always the most sensitive and attached her heart more than she had strength to give. So loving these four walls that were proof to some of the most cherished memories of her life only seemed fair. And to think that this place was no more her residence... She could actually cry at the thought.

And as she lay on the bed, being left alone for the first time in two days, she decided to break out of the depressing facts and instead, sort out her mind in terms of the new chapter that had begun.

She turned to her right and looked at the dream catcher Tam had gifted her, all her emotions from the past two days filling every intricate space of those threads, waiting to be untangled and left lose. She was glad to finally be alone, God knows how much she needed this to settle the chaos in her head.

It surprised her that she wasn't the girl she was two days ago, and right now, she did not want to know how she felt about it.

She did not know how she felt about Shamaaz, to be more precise.

She proved to be her own biggest predicted mystery by how calm she had been in his presence. Acceptance did that to people, she supposed. She had upturned every stone, engraved her decision on rocks and sought refuge in whispered prayers when she was certain that come what may, she wasn't going to sign her nikah papers against his name. And when her student life was over, and she was asked to sign up to be his wife, she had emptied every bottle of denial and loaded it with acceptance, hoping it stayed that way till the end.

And yet, she couldn't ever imagine Shamaaz as her husband. As a teenager, with her head in clouds, she had high expectations of her dream man. As a new adult, treading on land with a fragile heart, she had remembered not to string too many dreams to a guy she hadn't met yet.

Either ways, she was more prepared to marry a stranger than she was to marry someone she was sure she couldn't imagine as her husband.

However, when life happened amidst all this, the minute she had given her approval to abide by her mother's desires, she had accepted fate.

She had accepted Shamaaz to occupy a part in her life, although the amount of space he occupied in her heart was still a question mark. But this was just the beginning, and with time, she knew her uncertainties would waver and give way to reality.

It had taken her eight whole weeks to prepare herself for this life with him, and the night before the wedding, she was ready to embrace life as a married woman the next day. Her conversation with her sister had comprised of many things during their sleepover and she was glad she was warned of what to expect from the first night.

As someone who had zero guy friends and avoided the male population with dedication, it was impossible for her to not feel uncomfortable from the sudden intricacies of marriage, going from zero to hundred only in a few seconds.

And so, while she had maintained her composure the entire time, she was actually a bundle of nerves from within, and it was only fair to feel that way.