In His Eyes

Chapter Seventeen

V E R O N I C A

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It's been a week since I've gotten back from the trip. This day started exactly the same way the other ones did, I'd wake up at sunset, eat some fruits for breakfast then spend the rest of the evening regretting eating at all and feeling like my stomach has doubled in size. Then I'd sit on my bed and glare at the room, which instead of being in the clean state I always kept it in, always having a nice smell of vanilla and ocean. And now? The floor is filled with every possible piece of clothing I own, stinks of sweat- at least that's what Blake says, I've probably gotten used to the smell by now and that's why I can't confirm the information.

In other words, the room reflects my mood, the way I've been feeling inside. There's no doubt I'm depressed, I'm aware of that. Ask me why and I'll just keep quiet while I'm thinking of a possible reason. But I've already done that, and there's none.

There's no reason for me to be feeling this way, hell, I should be happy it's summer and I've gotten rid of school responsibilities. But that's what I should be, not what I really am. I start feeling guilty when I take my phone and see people living their lives, enjoying the summer while they can, while it's here.

Why can't I do that?

I've gotten all the help I'd possibly need, Blake's been worried sick about me. He probably even stopped giving Ava attention because of me. Does that make me a bad person? Hell yeah. Can I do something about it? Good question.

Part of me started to think that Damon's withdrawal has been the thing that pushed me into depression. I didn't see him when we were coming back from the trip. I spent a week waiting every single moment of the day, hoping that he'll come with an explanation, anything. But that's only been in my imagination. He didn't show and he probably never will.

Then I started regretting the things I did, like holding his hand, spending an awfully big amount of time with him, practically throwing myself at him every chance I get. I know how guys think, so I know for a fact that I pushed him away.

Maybe it's for the best.

So, I'm not sending desperate vibes anymore and I'm definitely not thinking about it. That means I need a distraction, like swimming in our pool, burning some calories, getting my bloated stomach back to normal.

I sigh and decide that's the best option. So here I am, silently making my way downstairs sliding my hand on the handrail as if I don't have the energy to hold it up myself. The sight that welcomes me is predictable. Blake's playing video games with Asher and Stephen, my flip flops sliding on the marble floor catch their attention.

"There's our devil." Asher comments with a soft smile.

I wave at them and start making my way towards the pool when Blake's voice stops me. "Where are you going?"

I tilt my head towards the pool. "I made lunch, it's in the kitchen, if I recall correctly, you haven't eaten anything today." He says, looking suspiciously at me.

I shrug and slide the balcony door open, seeing that the pool cover wasn't on, which was my job before the trip. Blake was supposed to close all windows and unplug electronic devices while I was in charge of the pool. Fuck, I even forgot that.

I approached the pool and when I got to the first corner of it, I realized something was at the bottom. I went closer to get a better view and lowered myself on my knees to be able to make out what's down there.