In His Eyes

Chapter Thirty

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V E R O N I C A

"I have this urge inside of me to prove him that I'm as tough as I seem to be and bring some guys to give him a mental face slap but then, I don't freaking need to do anything. There's no need and no potential. Not to mention that I want to erase everything he liked about me, that's why my hair is black, too bad I can't make myself less hot."

Violet smiles. "Damn right."

Ava leans her head on her hand. "Go on, express your thoughts about him right now."

I shake my head and raise my arms. "He's... he's. Man, I don't know what word should I use to describe the horror. I guess I'll invent hate words from now on. He's a complete little shit and the ugliest trash can."

Violet shrugs. "He deserves that."

I shake my head. "No honey." I say, looking at their confused faces. "He doesn't deserve anything. He already owns that."

Ava laughs. "That's right, girl."

"You freaking burned him." Violet says.

I clench my hand. "Stupid little prick. Hell I want to beat the organs out of him."

Their amused expressions turn into a horrified ones. "Girl, calm down. Save it for him." Violet says.

I chuckle. "Okay, okay. I will."

"So you have two different sides of opinions. The first one is hurt, really badly." Ava starts.

Violet interrupts. "He didn't even wish her a happy birthday, man."

"And the other one is confused and very angry." She says, glaring at Violet.

"I'm still figuring that out. Am I bipolar?" I ask.

"I don't think so. You said you hardly ever felt emotions before, right?" Violet asks, waiting for my answer. I give her a nod. "And he managed to activate them. So, when he just left you like that, the feelings didn't know what to do and I guess your organism couldn't turn them off permanently, right?"

I nod. "Yeah. They come back sometimes. It's either hurt or anger. Mostly anger."

"How is that feeling?" Ava speaks up, making me and Violet look at her with confusion. "Not feeling anything. How's that? You don't register anything?"

"Well, there's different kinds of it. But mine is like looking at the world with lack of purpose, lack of everything. You're bulletproof to every hate word. I do feel pain when someone punches me, but it's not as intense as other people would feel it. My reflexes are slightly slowed."

Ava nods. "How do you turn them off?"

"Every time I feel my emotions rising on dangerous levels. I put on some fight music and I focus on fighting someone that's the problem and direct everything on anger. When the anger has been weared off, there's nothing left in there."

"Can everyone do it?" Violet asks.

I shake my head. "No, I don't think so. I do think they turn off with enough traumatic experiences that have happened one by one. You become more and more numb."