heaven was wrong // fillie

the past

i blink slowly. somethings surrounding me. i struggle out of it and throw it on the ground. a blanket. i look around and see finn next to me, still sleeping.

i scream and jump back, holding the blanket to cover my face. i had totally forgotten about last night! i just felt so safe and warm... i must have fallen asleep.

the blanket was still up to my face, i could no longer see finn. i heard the sharp snap of his fingers.

"boo" he whispers in my ear as he appears behind me. i let out yet another small scream and jump away from him.

"not funny" i say with a pouty expression.

finn laughs. "gotchu, mistress" he winks playfully at me. i look away from him, my cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

he sits back down on the couch and i go over to the kitchen. "finn?" i turn my head around and say.

"yes?" he answers as he flips through a book.

"last night i realized, i really know nothing about you. you're a complete mystery." i sit next to him on the couch. he looks up at , a confused expression crosses his face. it seemed as if no one had ever asked about his past before.

"as my mistress you have the power to access my memories at any time." he puts down the book to look up at me from where he sat on the small, corduroy couch. " just touch your fingertips to my head and think of what you want to know." he grabs my wrists and gently places my fingertips on his forehead.

-

"i told you to get out!" i hear distant yelling from around the corner. "leave this house you tramp!" i look over it, finn is standing in a kitchen, yelling at a women. he's dressed in 40s apparel, he wore a large trench coach and fedora. the women in a large fur coat. i couldn't see her face but, i could tell she was beautiful.

"baby it's not what you think!" she protested. i can see another figure in the corner of my eye, i look in it's direction. another man stands there, scrambling to get his dress shoes and tie back on.

"i saw you with that man, nancy. you can't tell me you weren't." he clenched his fist as he bit down on his lip, clearly upset. a suitcase laid by his feet.

he picked up the small back case and threw it at the women. he looked down, his curls falling in his eyes.

"get out." he said coldly.

"excuse me?" she snapped at him. her blue eyes blazing in offense.

"i said, get out!" he looked up at her as he shoved the suitcase into her arms, a fury in his eyes.i had seen that look before, but only once. the flame had never burned so bright.

she looked back at the other man , and took his hand as she stormed out of the door.

finn waited to hear the click of the door and walked over to it. he put his hand up to the peep hole. he leaned up against the door, his eyes to the floor. he slid down slowly and fell to his knees.

i had never seen someone look so utterly defeated, he must have really loved her.

i continued to watch him. he looked down at his coat pocket, he pulled out a small case. a small, red velvet, case. he opened it and stared at its contents. an engagement ring. a blue diamond that sat upon a sliver plate.

he dropped the ring, his hands covering his eyes as he sobbed.

"how could i be so foolish?" he said to himself as he sat there, utterly alone.

i had seen enough. i thought of something else as i skipped from memory to memory.

-

i now see finn in a much younger state, maybe about 10 or 12, he seems to be sitting in front of an office in some sort of school building.

the door opens and finn looks up from his hands. a man steps out and waves his hand, a motion to let him know he can come in.

he takes a seat on a stool across from a hickory wood desk, the older man sits on the other side. finn taps his foot rapidly, a nervous habit he has obviously always had.

"i'm afraid i have some bad news." the man says breaking the silence. finn sits up, his eyes focused i the man, but says nothing.

"our soldiers came back today and well, im sorry to tell you this son but, your father didn't return with his comrades." finns eyes widen as he stands up. "your mother is here to take you home"

the door opens once again, a women baring black hair and pale skin comes through it, a sorrowful look in violet eyes.

finn runs over to her as soon as he she's her. he's quite tall for a boy his age. he wraps his arms around her torso as he cry's. she holds him there, her expression unwavering from the last.

she ran her fingers through his hair. "i'm sorry finn." his grip on her dress tightens at the words.

-

i couldn't watch anymore. i removed my hands from finns head. he looked at me blankly as i stared at him. i bit down on my lip as it quivered.

"what?" he asks me. i look down at my feet saying nothing. he blinks at me, touching my shoulder in an attempt to make me look at him.

i lift my head suddenly. i wrap my arms around his neck, holding him. when i looked at him i remembered that sorrowful little boy i had seen only a few minutes ago.

it made me want to protect him, just the way he protected me.