Why like this? (Matthew Espinosa)

Sorry gosh

When I dropped Matt off I headed home. I walked into the kitchen to see my mom on the phone. She looked very annoyed.

"Well thank you for telling me about this she just got home so I will have a little chat with her." I heard my mom say as I got watermelon out of the fridge.

She hung up the phone and turning to look at me. She was taping her fingers on the table. She's pissed, very very pissed.

"Really you were caught kissing Matt today in the back of the school and got detention after the principle already told you multiple times to stop." She sounded really pissed off and disappointed at the same time.

"I'm sorry. But Matt got it as well. I mean I know that doesn't make it ok but he only told us like once and today was the second time he said something to us." I tried explaining to her but she ignored me.

"One time should have been enough. He should not have had to give you or Matthew detention. I am very upset right now. I thought I raised you better than this." all the disappoint in her voice was gone now she was just pissed.

"I know that should have been enough and I'm sorry I really am it won't happen again." I sighed. The whole 'I thought I raised you better' thing really hurt my feeling.

"It better not now go on and work on your home work or something." she told me pointing up to my bedroom.

I went upstairs taking my backpack even though we had no homework today I didn't want to piss her off even more. I sat on my window seat and read all of jacks messages.

He seemed really upset. So I went downstairs.

"I'm going to call Jack." I said walking out the door at my pissed off mother.

I rolled my eyes as I left the house.

The phone rung twice before he picked up.

"Hello?" he asked into the phone.

"Hey jack umm is everything ok?" I asked him.

"Uhh well you see I was supposed to come home next week but apparently camp is 2 weeks long. Last year it was only a week. Not sure why they changed but I wanted to say that I finished finals so I am coming home as soon as possible." I could practically see him frowning at the floor as he that through the phone.

"Oh ok well then I'll guess I'll see you in a couple of weeks." I was missing him so much and really excited for him to meet Matt but now he's gonna have to wait longer. Heck I don't even know if he knows about Matt.

"There's another thing." he said cutting into my train of thought

"What is it Jack?" I questioned him.

"Well mom called me today and said you go in trouble for kissing someone in school. Your boyfriend. I'm happy that you got one but disappointed that you got detention over it plus the principle yelled at you guys multiple times. Like really what happened to you before I left you never even thought about boys or even gotten a C on a test. Now I leave and your getting detention for making out with a boy." He said yelling at me through the phone.

Well fuck so much for a good impression.

"Look this is the second time today that I have been told that I have disappointed people and I'm sorry that I'm such a screw up but really everyone makes mistakes in there life and I know you probably don't understand that but I do. Mom and dad always want me to be like you. A perfect student and get into an amazing college, with a scholarship but I'm not you and nobody understands that. So I'm sorry for disappointing you and everyone else in this damn world ok." I said. After I got done saying all of that I hung up the phone before he could say anything.

I cried. I just sat outside for at least 3 hours and cried. Jack was texting me about how sorry he was. But I ignored him.

It was atleast 6 o'clock before I went back inside. It was getting dark out. As soon as I got inside I went straight up stairs. I changed into a sports bra and and shorts and started running. I played "glitter in the air." by Pink on repeat.

Matt texted me several times. Cameron had sent something in the group messages and everyone started talking they were all enjoying life while I was running and listening to sad songs.

"Hey guys so I wanted to say we should all hang out soon and maybe do like a huge sleepover at our apartment." Cameron sent to everyone.

Everybody was saying how much fun that would be and when there gonna do it.

They made the plans for December 18th. We were gonna be on break in a couple of weeks so that's when they did it. I didn't feel like responding. I ran for about 2 hours before Gracie called me.

"Hey is everything ok? You weren't answering the group convo so I was just curious." that was what she said in her message she left me.

I went down stairs to see my mom on the phone.

"Oh great who is she gossiping out me to now?" I asked my self.

I got ramen noodles out of the cupboard.

"Honey I just ordered dinner it's gonna be here in about half an hour so can you wait or at least get like a snack?" she asked me smiling acting all innocent like she didn't rip my heart out.

"Yeah I'll just have some watermelon and I'm gonna go shower." I said softly.

"Ok. I'm gonna go do some work in my bedroom and I'll text you when the food gets here." she said walking into her bedroom.

"Alright." I said before walking upstairs to get in the shower.

I looked at my phone. My whole lock screen was text messages or twitter mentions so something involving everybody in that group conversation.

Once I got out of the shower and got changed my mom had texted me that dinner was here. I looked at my flag notifications on the app corner to see that I had a total of 156 messages all containing my brother and that group conversation.

I went downstairs to see my mom still in her bedroom working and eating pizza. I got like 2 pieces and sat at our table looking out the window of our big empty house.

I finished eating and decided to go outside and walk to our garden and just sit back there for a while.

I went to bed at about 2am. I sat in my bed just reading pointless tweets from people. I ended up crying myself to sleep my cheeks burning from tears streaming down my face.

What my mom and brother really hurt my feeling.