Why like this? (Matthew Espinosa)

Never good enough.

After Matt left me standing in the doorway of my apartment crying holding my cheek, I closed the door.

I slid down the door crying and crying my eyes out. The boy of my dreams just left. No goodbye. He leaves in 2 days and that just happened.

•••••
(So this is after Matt leaves soo)

It's been 2 weeks since Matt left. He's gone. Left on Magcon. He never came back. Everyone left. Cam, Nash, Carter, Matt, Gracie, Taylor. I had nobody.

I lost him. It's all my fault. It always is. I walked around my apartment in sweatpants and matts sweatshirt. It was snowing out. Christmas was like 2 days away. Yay. I get to spend it alone.

All my makeup was smeared. When I got out of the shower I would put it on go out and get something for my apartment then come home and cry. It's always my damn fault. If I wasn't so overreactive this wouldn't of happen. Jesus.

I was in my bedroom sitting in bed on my computer online shopping. I already had $50 in Aeropostale stuff. I decided to check out and be done with it.

I heard my phone in the kitchen go off.

I sighed and walked to my phone. I picked it up.

"Hey honey. So I'm sorry I'm not gonna make it home for Christmas this study is taking so much longer than planned but I'll be back soon. We can then go to la and look for your permanent living place for your job. I'm so excited. But anyway. I was wondering if you could A. Go to the house and get all the Christmas boxes and bring them to your house the you can open all of them that's yours, which would be most of them.
B. Do a room your for me of your apartment. Then last
C. Call me on Christmas. I miss you and love you.
I can't wait to see you when I come home. Bye." My mom sent.

I groaned.

I slipped on my boots and stepped outside into the cold winter air. I spun my keys around my finger as i help a tight grasp on my phone.

Matts POV:

"I'm so stupid" I mumbled to Nash.

"Yeah. Dude. You guys got in a fight you hit her then left. You didn't even say bye. Kinda a dick move bro" Nash said scratching the back of his neck.

"YOUR HIT TAYLOR" Gracie and Cameron yelled at the same time.

Currently we were walking to our hotel room.

"Um. Haha yeah. It kinda just happened. I was pissed. She was lying to me about her dad and just I blamed her for things and slapped her. She was already crying before that so I couldn't look at her in pain anymore. So I left." I sighed looking at the floor.

"Your such an.." Gracie said walking to me until Carter grabbed her hand and pulled her around.

"Sorry Matt." She mumbled.

When we got to our room we all settled down. Me, Nash, and cam shared a room and then Gracie and Carter.

I laid on my bed to clear my thoughts as I fell asleep.

Taylor's POV:

As I walked up to my house there were like 10 boxes. They were huge. I grabbed them all putting them in my car, before I left I checked the mail. I grabbed all of it and put it in the front seat and left.

As I arrived at my apartment I got a cart thing and started putting things in there.

I got to my room and unpackaged everything. I put it under my small tree that cost like $15 at walmart. I had like ornaments and everything on it.

I looked through the mail and pulled out everything that was mine. About half of it.

"YES!! Coupon for H&M" I said all happily.

I finished going through my mail and headed to my room. I started shopping more.