Their Sides (Patton Sanders X Reader)

Chapter 31-Seperated

Hey guys. I'm sorry I haven't updated in about a week. I've just been so focused on my other fan fics and kinda lost motivation to write this. I'm not going to put this story on hold or discontinue it or anything but just warning you now, updates will be a lot slower than they used to be. Hope that's ok. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Just a quick warner, this chapter is very sad and angsty, more so than any others so you might want to get your tissues ready.

Y/N's POV

"Is everything ok pumpkin?" Patton asked me, noticing my red, tear soaked face and cupping my face in his hands.

"Yeah yeah I'm fine" I mumbled. I really didn't want to talk to him at the moment, not after what I just found out about Vivian liking him. I wasn't even sure if I could be with him anymore without feeling extremely guilty inside.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"I'm fine Patton"

"Well if you're sure..."

"Yeah I am. If you don't mind, I need to go to my room" I tried to gently push past him but he stood in front of me, blocking the way.

"But what about our date?" He asked.

"Date?" I repeated.

"Yeah. Don't you remember? I said I would pick you up at 6"

"But it's only..." I quickly checked my watch. 6 oclock. I gasped. I couldn't go on a date with him. Not in the state I was in. Not looking like I was. Not with all that was going on in my head. It wouldn't be fair to him or to me. But I couldn't just tell him that. I had to make up something.

"But I'm not ready yet. Just look at me. I'm a complete mess"

He rubbed the side of my face with his thumb. "I don't think you look like a mess. I think you look perfect and gorgeous just the way you are" he then softly kissed my cheek, causing me to flinch.

"But I can't go out like this"

Patton frowned. "But if we don't leave now, we'll be late. Honestly, you look perfectly fine. You look more beautiful than usual. I love you" he kissed my cheek once again and I just felt my heart swell up with guilt. Was I really ready to break up with a guy as sweet as him? I really didn't want to but I guess it was the right thing to do.

"Patton, I'm sorry but I can't do this. I can't go on our date. I'm so sorry" As I appologised, tears flooded down my face.

"It's fine Pumpkin. I shouldn't have forced it onto you. I'm sorry" he appologised, filling my heart with even more guilt until I felt as if it was going to explode. I just had to do it. I had no other choice.

"Patton, I need to talk to you about something"

"And I need to talk to you about something as well I just remembered. Do you want to go into your room or mine?" He asked.

"Mine please. It's closer"

"Sure. Let's go then" he tried to take my hand in his but I just jerked it away before heading to my room. He quickly followed, carefully shutting the door behind him and gently sitting onto the bed next to me, placing his arm around me reassuringly and rubbing by back soothingly.

"Do you want to go first?" He asked.

"Y-you can" I replied, wanting to hear what he had to say first before I ended our whole relationship. However, what he told me next made me wish that I didn't let him go first.

"I want to start a life together. I love you so much and wish I could spend the entirety of the rest of my life with you. I want to get married and have children and-"

"Patton I-" I tried to interrupt him but it didn't really work as well as I wished it was.

"I know. I know. It's impossible. We're just aspects of two people's personalities. We can't do all that stuff. But I've found a way. What if we both duck out? What if we found a way to create replacement moralities so we could run off together?" I know it sounds crazy but-"

"Patton, I'm sorry but I don't think I can do this anymore" I told him, removing his arm from my shoulder and holding his hand in mine and looking into his eyes, my voice cracking from tears.

"W-what do you mean p-pumpkin?" He asked, clearly confused.

"I-I'm so sorry Pat, so sorry b-but I can't be with you any more"

"What? Why?" He asked with a clearly hurt expression.

"Look, you're the most amazing guy a girl could ask for and I've loved every moment I've been with you but I just can't do this anymore. It's not you, it's me. It's just, whatever we do, trouble always seems to follow us and I feel as if us being together is just hurting everyone around us. I'm so sorry" Every single word I told him was true. I loved him more than anything but us being together seemed to be hurting those around is, in particular my best friend Vivian. And as much as I was truly in love with him, I would put my friends before anything else, even him. I gazed into his eyes, which were filled with tears, pain and heartache.

Before he could say another word, I quickly stood up and ran out of my room and out of the house. I just couldn't be near him anymore. It hurt me too much knowing what I just put him through. So I just ran towards my quiet spot. The spot I rarely visit, only in my lowest points and this was one of them. I just had to visit it this occasion. I had to visit my special place: the forest.