Love is a very big word that I have only used on very select people in my life.. And most of the time I've used it... I meant it... Only once in my life did I tell a "man" I loved him and not mean a single word of it... But that's another poem...Another story for a different day and time.
There has only ever been 3 men in my life that I have told them I loved them and meant it... The only issue with that is... I never stopped loving the men from the past... They still hold a piece of my heart and soul and I don't know how to cope with or explain this... You would think that once you truly love someone else... You stop loving the past heart holders. But that's not the case here... My one heart is in love... with three different and unique beautiful souls.
How do you let go of something you hold so dear? That's so precious and delicate like fine china to you...
I don't deserve any of these men in my life if I am incapable of only loving one...
Some days I think... I should just die alone... hurts less... Makes my mind hurt less.
So to all the men I love who read this... I'm so sorry for never giving you my whole heart... I'm sorry for wasting your time... I'm sorry I can't see that you and you alone are enough for me to love... and lastly.. I'm sorry to myself for giving away my heart so easily.
Please don't hurt, or hate... Was never my intention...
These are just late night sleepy thoughts with the author...
I'm sorry....
