Finding Christ

Down

I've been feeling really down lately. A lot of things in my life are changing and it seems that old insecurities are starting to creep back in - which is definitely something I don't want to face again. I went to therapy for months to defeat the insecurities holding me back so far obvious reasons, I don't want them to make an appearance again. 
It's not really physical insecurities as much as personality insecurities. 
I love my friends but I sometimes don't feel adequate enough for them. I'm sick of treating myself like this. 

I just don't like where my mind is at right now and it sucks because I want to talk to my friends about it but they're always busy. 
I would lay in bed all day if I could but that isn't even an option in my family. We're always working or doing something. I don't have a job but I'm still doing extensive jobs everyday.
I'm not complaining, I just don't like where I'm at. 

I'm so worried about my future and my present and I don't think I'm depending on God enough. He holds my future in my hands, so why can't I trust Him? 
Even Christians struggle with depression. I am one of those Christians. It doesn't mean I don't love God or that I don't love myself. It just means things are a little harder for me. Especially right now. 
I'm struggling hardcore and I really wish I could just not deal with this right now. But I have to. I have to persevere and deal with it. 

There is hope.
There is hope.
There is hope.

Even in this darkness of my mind, there is light shining through because I know who holds my future. 

Colassions 3:1-2
"If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth." 

2nd Corinthians 4:17-18
"For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal."  

Jerimiah 29:11 - 
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."