Jasmin

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

"Are you all right. You don't have to come. We can stay in the city." I say. The whole scenario could not of gone more askew. The panic, the prejudice of the cook. Jasmin has yet to look at me since I asked her to the pack. We are about a block away, I stay right beside her. I have always thought better when I walk, now I think about it most of our talks have been on the move, maybe I am not the only one.

"I would love to see your pack." Said into her chest. After saying that the final scent of fear has left her, her smell now only sweet comes to my nose as I angle my head towards her.

I feel like I can breath again, yet know she has more. We walk another block before she can continue. I hear her heartbeat. It is finally slowing down, so must slower than her fear, something else was causing that. Now that she seems on firm footing I know I will have to listen closely to see what caused the fear. The whole situation has had my mind going over everything we have said or done for the last two months. Trying to find out what went wrong so fast. What I did. I stop and turn to the wonderful strong woman beside me. She turns to me immediately, as though we are completely in sync. She still will not look up, only the ground interests her, I watch as her shoulders lift, and tilt back, armour onto a knight before he grabs his sword.

"I am not ready to have a physical relationship." The sword swipes at me. She spits out so fast. I am not used to her talking that way. It is how she talks to her friend, yet she always was slow and soft whenever we talk. Even her laughter is soft. Yet this is hard, rough. I wonder if she knows how sharp her attack was. Glad I was ready for it. Knew it would be painful, I masked all my own emotions tight and concentrated on what she said, what she is truly meaning. She must be thinking of the past, of what I could not ever fix. I do not know how to get her to understand that I would not do to her what has been done.

"That is ok." I know not to look at her, I stare over her head at the small pawn shop across the street. Keep my voice calm and plain. Let her read my absoluteness on the issue. She does not understand how much of her past I know; but do I know. I know her pain. I could never start anything with her, it has always been Jasmin who has lead this part of the relationship. I simply push other boundaries, push for her secrets in ways she has yet to push back on. I am a patient hunter, and know I will get it all in the end. Know the key is her secrets, everything else can wait for centuries if it must. I must own her heart, her body will only ever be hers.

Finally Jasmin looks up at me. Eyes clouded in confusion. This is not a conversation I have ready. No more words come to me. Jasmin needs words, communication, something I lack. I thought I was getting better at this part yet feel so inadequate. I can not give her what she needs.

I reach for her hands, pull off her mittens and stuff them in her jacket pocket. Even with all her clothing her hands are colder than mine as I cradle them between my calluses. Searching her eyes I kiss the back of each hand and pull my girl closer, inch by inch. I say the only words I have right now.

"That is ok." So slow, only absolute truth. I do hope she can hear that.

Finally, I am rewarded with a smile it starts in her eyes and slowly come across her face. Suddenly a jump I would of missed had I not been watching carefully, my heart is pounding as I have my girl in my arms and her lips on mine. My ears ring from the quick squeal she let out with her vault into my chest. I drag her body up mine so her feet are off the ground. My breath deserted me in the surge of emotion. I can not let her go.

When we finally get back to the diner, hand in hand. The cook is nowhere to be seen and the guys are all sitting quietly in the far corner. The owner Marleen, who I remember serving us the first time I had brought Jasmin here last month, is standing at the counter, the look on her face evaluating.