Jasmin

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Another council meeting. Yes they happen often and for a myriad different things. As the children age and become teenagers, they do seem to gain a focus for the council. Older pack members solve problems and plan each yearly event as well as plan for the future of the pack. This Sunday evening has a few items to be discussed. I am the last one outside of the meeting hall in hallway. The whole building is multi-use; Town hall, meeting area, school, town library, summer activities centre. The building has many wings and areas designed over time to suit the towns needs.

Davids' cousin Lyla is coming out. She dressed up in a traditional dress and I can hear her jingling as she moves towards the door. Lyla has been helping with the crafts for as long as I have been here. Now at 14 she is asking to start specializing her education, an eye on a future in a design school. I had seen some of her grandmothers clothing sell well at the markets, she will be in good hands. I am sure the council concur.

Lyla comes out with her head held high, not even looking at me. She spends much time with her Grandmother, and Ester has little patience for me. I am happy Lyla is a part of council tonight had, as then I know Ester will not be a part of of it. She is a great and strong Elder, yet has never seen any favour in me. With things going well with my relationship, I hope to see many friendly faces in the circle, less who have shown hostility in the past. It is a small list and guaranteed not to be a majority in any case. My past springs more bitterness than benevolence.

I finally get called into the council room. I kneel with my head down and wait for why they had asked me to be here. I listen to some murmurs between the council; I can only make out a few words. "time", "long", "twenty", "school", "future", "pack". Finally Samuels son Erwin, who is sitting at the far left says something that I can not miss. He wasn't trying to be quiet. "We have a contingency plan already in place."

My blood runs cold. A growl escapes me. I knew what this would be about, I am grateful for Eric now that he warned me of this. Getting Segenam and Samuel to give me permission was only one small part and this pack always works together, it is why they are so strong.

They, not we. Even after years this pack still keeps me as an outsider. I run with them and had even started being let into the group just a bit on our outings, even the celebration last month saw me moving closer, being allowed into different groups instead of always on the outskirts. Yet still I know they see me as other, as Rogue. Always waiting for me to mess up. To show violence or run to drugs again. They do not think me strong enough to stay on the circle. I have never disagreed, my last three years were spent waiting for them all to give up on me and let me go. I would not leave before my time. The wolf in me needs the pack, the nature. I was strengthening myself on the edges of pack, gaining the strength for when I would join her, outside this secure grouping.

The growl was quiet yet heard by all in the room. I stopped immediately, knowing it would not help. I bowed lower, staring at the floor. Seek penance for something I was not able to control. It is always about control.

"Marcus, you know why you are called." Statement, from Roy who is sitting in the middle. It had been some time since coming to a council of eight, often four is enough to make consensus decisions. I stay kneeling, silent. Await for what is to come.

Erwin Alexander is next to speak. His words will hold a lot of weight. "He was given permission by the elders to invite the girl. It was considered and decided on based on the information given. What has changed."

"We are now aware that he is calling us a pack to this girl." Tim must of told his eldest brother Blake who lives with his older Aunt Isobel and her family. I know it was not Eric. David would of continued to yell at me, not scurry to another. I guess Tim is simply himself, a mixture of all his family members, I feel no reason to be angry with him, I guess I am not even shocked.

"Speak to this new information." Grandmother Mary is never one to beat around the bush. Always grilling people. So much different from her younger namesake.

"I use the term pack with her." I concede the point. How to explain that I am not letting out secrets, they are not accusing me and so I can not address it without harming my cause.

"Does she know why you use such a specific word." Grandmother gives me a way in. I will have to make sure she has lots of firewood for the winter stored to give thanks. Add to my list of people I must give thanks to.

"She understands that pack is a word I associate closely with, rather than town, to show cohesiveness and group benefit, rather than other towns that are so very divided. I have not given her reason to believe it to mean more." My anger well concealed from its earlier eruption, my tone calm and polite the way I had practiced in my head. This is something I knew would come up soon.

Eventually Roy brings attention to my initial greeting around again as this information is absorbed. "You sit so well, yet aggression covers your shoulders in a shroud." I think everyone here can hear his eagerness. Roy does not favour me in the pack and has never had cause to hide it.

I take my time with this, the words I worked with for hours seem pale now, yet they are all I have to work with. "She will not be hurt, she is not allowed to be hurt." Not the careful words I had before. These are from deep within and I release them with no thought as to how they will be received.

"Wonderful." This starts a flurry of small motions, as Segenam smiles at me. I can just see it through my eyelashes. My heart pounds. Confusion within the council is not seen but can be felt and smelled through the room. "Perfect balance now; physical and spirit are now in complete balance with communication and mental acuity." The usual quiet of the council room that is often filled only with soft breaths, now has small sounds. Hair sliding over cloth, skin moving against skin, cloth against cloth, small fidgets yet still ringing in my ears.

I had used the time to seek what Segenam had seen inside me, I feel no different, yet completely changed by my Jasmin. The circle was always described as something you can feel within you and yet I had not looked in so long, always seeing a tilted, wilted hoop. Yet now I picture each section and what they all mean.

Physical; yes a deep connection with the animal, caring for your pack. White for logical thinking.

Spiritual; strength, of body and character, strength of spirit no matter the odds. Black for the dark waters.

Those I have had for a long time. Those were what kept me going in so much uncertainty, confusion.

Emotional; a childhood section that is often the first to grow, about connection to others and communication and feeling. Yellow like the warmth of the sun. Strength lending to my voice, the one I had to grow for Jasmin, to show her who I was.

Mental; an understanding of relationships and how people fit together and use each other. Trust, envy, innocence, and passion. Red. Seen bright not only with her but also Eric, Samuel, Segenam, David, Tim, Andrew and Mary. The people I had to connect to to get to her, to get to this point.

"Yes, I see. I believe that will be all for now," states Eve. Owen and Roy do not agree, shown by the way they are still turned to me. Yet most of the rest of the council had already shifted around enough after Segenams proclamation that they are willing to accept the old mans declaration.

I rise and bow to the council and make my way out of the building. I walk into the woods to find some time alone.