Jasmin

Chapter 34

Chapter 34

I climb off Marcus' lap and move to sit beside him as everyone settled down, not that they were very loud or anything. I feel ridiculous crying like that, yet no one said or did anything to me. I look at all the faces to see what they think of me and my pathetic story. Only Marcus's mother is showing anything. A deep sadness seeps out of her face, but not at me, at her son. I don't know what he went through, but if he really was my dream wolf who saved me in the snow. What happened after?

I rack my brain and remember what his father said the night before, Marcus was unstable, a danger. He believed in people who were non existent. Oh dear, my poor guy suffered. I stare at the man who called my guy unstable. Trying to show him my anger that he would hurt a little boy so badly. Blame him.

He looks back at me and winces. Good. "Your story puts many other things into perspective." I snort. I couldn't help it. "We never knew, and Marcus was not in a good state of mind when he returned from his run. He was to go out for two weeks to connect with his wolf, he was taken away from the pack so that they would not interfere. This is common for twelve year olds and is used to balance their younger emotional and mental growth, with the physical and spiritual side. Marcus was young at eleven but had shown a level of maturity and it was not unknown for some to go a bit early. He was found almost six months later far from where he was suppose to be, starved and crazed. We nursed him for over a month before he could even talk and all he wanted was to run away. We thought he had lost himself to the wolf side. We did what we could with the knowledge we had." I snort again. Marcus just listens to it all. Never moving.

"I am not saying this as an apology, son. I don't know what I can do to ever fix the past. I would like a chance to try." His father turns to the woman beside him and they hug.

Finally Marcus looks up at his father in the face, showing his eyes to the crowd. "I am Rogue." He states, stands and leaves the room. The look on his fathers face after he sees the beautiful wolf eyes from his sons human face is one of fear. I am still not understanding this. What does Rogue mean? I watch him leave and realize he is going to run again.

...

I catch him in the hall and we bundle up, he takes someones jacket and boots and we walk away. Back to our cabin. This is a safe place for us. Yes we know we will be found there, yet this is where we talk. On the paths of the valley or in this cabin. We connect, we tell the truth. We run here.

Its freezing, I mean its winter of course it is cold, but I missed some buttons on the silly coat and my mitts were wet, I run into the cabin and start the fire as Marcus grabs wood from the pile outside. I search the cupboards and get things we need for hot chocolate. We just work together silently. As the fire gets going and we wait for the water to heat. I finally look at him, his tawny eyes and I forget everything else but him and my need. I need to connect to this man. He has suffered for me. Opened me up and filled me with love. Proved that a man can be something besides pain in my life. I leap at him and he is ready.

We fall into the bed, pulling clothes off each other, stop and get under the covers quickly with a giggle, and then wrap ourselves up in our own world. His hands are everywhere and I need to touch his skin, its like a drug. We are down to underwear when finally he stops like an ice cube ran down his back.

"Now?! Are you ok, I was there, I heard everything, are you ok?" I know what he is trying to say, and I smile at him.

"Make me forget it all, please." My mind told the story on autopilot, I tried not to think of what I actually went through. I didn't focus on that night or on any of the 'preparing'. It is all freed earlier and buried deep again, and I want to find a way to get past it and lock it up. He will lock it away, my wolf, my Marcus. "Give me better memories."