3:12 am | Dazai Osamu

16. how blessed am I to be kissed by you

After (Y/N) and I left her mom and Hamada's house, we headed to my apartment immediately. Luckily, I didn't live too far so (Y/N) will soon be able to rest because she was definitely exhausted after everything that happened today. She was my top priority now and because of that, I didn't even bother searching for those idiotic guardians because they could definitely wait for now.

I thought, that (Y/N) would be scared of me or even shocked after everything she's seen today, but instead...she seemed relieved for some reason. Tired but relieved. As if she didn't even mind what I've done. I could only wonder how much she was afraid of that man and how much she hated him if she felt safe with the person, who brutally beat him.

Our walk was quick, but quiet because (Y/N) seemed to still be thinking about something, unknown to me, but the silence was finally broken once we reached my apartment.

"Ladies first." I said after I opened the door in front of her "And um...welcome home, I guess?"

(Y/N) smiled softly at me and entered first, turning on the lights, and then, I entered too, closing the door behind me.

"I can't believe in what's happening...~" She said quietly "Am I really free from that life...~?"

"You are, sugar pop~" I smiled, walking up to her "I'll make sure that you'll have a happy life from now on~ I'll take care of you~"

I placed my hands on her shoulders gently from behind, making her relax under my touches. She turned her head to be able to look at me and I could clearly see every single feature on her face even in this dim lighting. I couldn't resist inhaling the scent of her hair, enjoying it and making her blush a little because of it.

"Dazai, can I ask you something?" She asked me suddenly, looking me right in the eyes

"Of course, you can." I nodded

"Why are you doing all this for me?" She questioned looking at me with so much hope in her eyes, but I couldn't tell what exactly she was hoping for

"It's because you're my friend, (Y/N)." I replied

"Dazai, tell me the truth." She told me seriously

I was a little caught off the guard by this, I must admit. I didn't think, that (Y/N) could see through me so easily. I thought, that she'd believe me as always, but instead, she managed to sense that I wasn't telling her everything, what usually only Odasaku could sense.

I knew, that it was finally time to tell her about my true feelings, but this was very sudden. Honestly, for once, I was scared. I couldn't predict how she would react or feel after this and the least I wanted to do was to scare her away from me. However, I had no choice now.

I pulled back from her and walked to the couch, sitting down on it and waiting for (Y/N) to join, what she quickly did. She sat next to me rather closely and she was still looking me in the eyes, waiting for me to say something.

"Remember the night when we kissed for the first time on this couch?" I asked her

"I do." She nodded, blushing slightly "That was my first kiss."

"I still can't forget it, (Y/N)." I said "I'm still often replaying it in my head, remembering how gently our lips touched and how sweet the kiss was. To be honest...that was the first time, when I felt euphoric because of a kiss. (Y/N)...you're the first girl, who became special to me and at first, I was scared of what I was feeling. I was just scared to feel pain because of this. It felt like a fire inside of me and I didn't want to get burned. But as time passed, I understood that there was nothing bad in it and this fire wasn't going to hurt me, but only give me warmth. (Y/N), I fell in love with you quicker, than I even realized it. And I still love you up until this very moment."

"Dazai...." She whispered, not being able to believe in what I was saying

I took a deep breath, before finally saying those words:

"I love you, (Y/N)."

It took me all my courage to not look away from (Y/N)'s eyes and stay composed. However, (Y/N) didn't look as composed as I tried to look: her eyes widened and her mouth opened a little as she kept looking at me with the shocked expression on her face. I didn't even try to break the silence first again because I wanted to give her enough time to realize everything I said.

"Y-You love me...?" She asked me quietly

"Yes, (Y/N)." I replied "Unconditionally and truly."

Suddenly, (Y/N)'s face beamed with the brightest smile I've ever seen in my entire life. I raised an eyebrow, questionably, silently asking  her what did that mean, but in the brief of the moment, (Y/N) pulled me closer to her by the collar of my shirt until our noses were touching.

"I love you too, Osamu~" She whispered right into my lips

And then, she kissed me.

Oh, this was much sweeter, than any possible dessert. I closed my eyes from the indescribable pleasure that filled my body from head to toes just from such a seemingly simple action. My mind went blank in that moment and all I could think about was just how good it felt to be kissed by her.

The kiss was a little clumsy and slow because this was only (Y/N)'s second kiss and of course, she lacked experience a little bit, but I found it very cute and adorable. Our kiss was innocent and pure, filled with gentleness and care to each other. We moved our lips in perfect sync as we both melted because of this blissful feeling.

I wrapped my hands around her waist gently, pulling her closer to me and taking the lead in the kiss, as (Y/N) wrapped her hands around my neck and relaxed instantly under my touches, allowing me to take the control.

Sadly, after a minute, she pulled back because of the lack of air.

I couldn't help, but smile at the way she looked now: blushing, panting, with clouded eyes and a soft smile on her face. I placed a hand on her cheek, caressing her skin gently with my thumb before kissing her forehead.

"So um....are we dating now?" (Y/N) asked me shyly, blushing even more than before

"Of course, we are~" I replied, laughing softly because of how adorable she was "I thought, it was quite obvious after we confessed and shared such a magical kiss, sugar pop~"

"Don't tease me...!" She said, blushing more again and nuzzling into my neck "I have no experience with relationship after all...So don't tease me and kiss me...~"

I couldn't help, but laugh more again, before taking her by the chin and giving her what she asked me for.

Gosh, I'm so in love with her.

~~~

Don't forget to vote or comment :3

I hope that you liked the chapter~ Im glad that I managed to update sooner than usual^^because I probably won't be able to update this week.

I'm going to an anime convention on weekend so I won't be online much. Plus, I have some courses to attend (I took up make up courses XD). However, maybe I'll be able to update my headcanon book this week bc headcanons don't take as much time as one shots^^