3:12 am | Dazai Osamu

17. flowers can't bloom in coldness

"So you thought, that you could get away with this?"

Another punch in the jaw of mine followed after I asked that question. I wasn't even holding myself back, while beating these already ex-mafia guardians after I found them.

These two idiots thought, that they could hide from the mafia...with turned on phones and without even moving out of the city. I only had to track their phone numbers to found their whereabouts so once I found them, I headed out to them.

"I'm sorry, sir!" one of them cried as he tried to rise up from the ground

"You can cry all you want!" I growled at him "We're alone in this alley and I made sure that no one will disturb us...~"

I went to him again and punched him in the face, probably breaking hid nose, but I didn't care: he deserved pain after what he did.

"Hamada just fooled us!" Another one exclaimed "He promised us more money and..."

I interrupted him by punching his chest with my leg as he was already lying on the ground.

"You two are even more stupid, than I thought you were!" I shouted "You should have thought twice before making that choice."

I stepped back, taking out a napkin out of my pocket and wiping blood off of my hands and looking how these two men were writhing from pain and numerous beating. My work was finished for today. I decided not to kill them today to leave them as a reminder about what the mafia will do to the traitors.

But anyway, it was now time to forget about such negative things and remember the positive ones: now, I could go back to my apartment and relax in (Y/N)'s arms.

It's been a week since (Y/N) started living with me.

I never felt so happy all the time in my entire life. It felt so nice to come home and be greeted by the warm and beautiful smile from (Y/N), before feeling her lips as press to mine in a gentle kiss. I felt true happiness in such moments.

(Y/N) seemed to bloom in this past week. She no longer had a reason to cry, she could finally feel safe at home and most importantly she could be free because she didn't have to be afraid anymore. She was smiling most of the time and she was often humming some unknown to me songs quietly, what usually ended up with both us dancing in the middle of the room and just smiling for no reason like idiots because we were simply too happy to have each other in our lives.

If she was quiet before, not daring to get too close to me, then right now, I was very delighted to see that she was often initiating hugs and kisses by herself. Of course, she was still blushing a lot, while doing it (what was extremely adorable~) but her actions weren't unsure anymore.

It felt like she was no longer chained anymore. Nothing was burdening her like fear did before and she was just enjoying life with me right now.

However, as much as I enjoyed life in the moment, I couldn't help but feel bad about a couple of things...

We both probably knew, that with my work, life won't be smooth and ideal all the time. (Y/N) was living with a wanted criminal, who was hated by both the government and even half of the underground world. Everything was fine now because I didn't go on any extreme missions and I didn't fail any tasks, given to me, for quite some time already. But one day, I will have to risk my life again. One day, I will get punished for failing a mission by getting broken ribs again. And the worst was that I won't even be the one, feeling the most pain. I'm scared to see tears in her eyes once she sees what living with me truly brings.

I knew that she loved me. Not because I'm so arrogant, thinking that there's no way, she can't love me, no. I knew it simply because I trusted her more than I ever trusted anyone. I simply gave her my heart and believed in each word she said because I knew, that (Y/N) wasn't going to hurt me. She wasn't the same as others. She went through too much pain for her age and when she was hugging me now, her grip was so tight as if she was holding on to me for dear life. (Y/N) needed me as much as I needed her because we were the only source of warmth for each other in this cold world of ours.

I wanted to protect (Y/N) from any kind of pain and coldness because she was like a beautiful flower and as we all know, flowers can't grow in bad conditions like these.

Ah, I got a little carried away with thinking about future...

I suppose, that I should only think about the present for now and head home since (Y/N) must have already finished her school day and she's probably missing me because I miss her too...

All we can do is just patiently wait for our future to thrust upon us at any moment without being able to prevent it. All things is in this world have their time...and even happiness might have limited amount of it.

I will enjoy life while I can... I definitely will...

~~~

Don't forget to vote or comment :3

Guys, I had the time of my life at the con these weekends. Like this gave me one of the happiest memories of this whole summer. I went there in my Dazai cosplay (well...almost his cosplay bc it was like 30+ degrees and I had to change his outfit a little or I would have died) and I think that half of the people there hugged me. I met lots of wonderful people too and I even met Chuuya and Yosano there! And this wasn't even planned like the 3 of us had no idea that we'd meet each other! The girl who was cosplaying Chuuya was super cute and nice and we got along immediately and I was like "omg did I finally found someone who could maybe be my friend" but I'm so freaking sad now bc she lives in another city😢
Other than that, everything was just perfect there~

Also...at events like this, after meeting all the cute girls and all, I'm just like....damn, I'm sooo bi like shit.