Run (A Bucky Barnes Recovery Story)

Epilogue: Jump

Bucky had decided earlier in the evening that he liked suits. Steve had helped him pick this one out, mostly through pointing because Bucky wouldn’t let him hurt his throat any further. But it was a nice suit, with shiny lapels and he wore a bowtie and got another hair cut, this time from the barber down the street, and with enough money to pay him. And by the end, Bucky was just glad that he could look in the mirror and smile at himself.

Natalia was, of course, radiant. She took Bucky’s breath away as they sat across from each other at that expensive restaurant on Main Street in a gown without a back and Bucky thought that he could look at her all day. But she kept peeking out at him over the menu and making eyes and he could barely suppress his laughter and the way he wanted to reach across the table and kiss her right now.

“Nat, this is a nice place, we’re going to embarrass ourselves,” he scolded and Natalia grinned at him.

“Good,” she said.

Waiters continually brought more wine to the table, but the actual dinner portions were so small that Natalia joked that they’d have to run by fast food on the way home or she’d starve to death. But of course, neither of them really cared. The dinner didn’t actually matter.

“I was this close,” Bucky said finally when their flirting and teasing had stopped and the mood became darker for a moment. “This close to not being here right now.” Natalia looked at him and pursed her lips.

“Don’t talk like that,” she said. “You kept your promise.” Bucky frowned and nodded.

“I’m glad I could,” he said. “I am.”

“Me too, James,” Natalia replied quietly. And then, “You’ve done so good. I hope you know that. You’re so strong.”

“I’ve got a long way to go,” Bucky said, shrugging almost uncomfortably now, leaning back into his chair and staring off to the side because he still had some trouble accepting compliments sometimes. “Everything’s not all better.” He glanced back over at her now, the way she leaned over her plate with her elbows on the table, cupping her face in her hands and looking at him.

“But you’re getting there,” she said and he nodded thoughtfully.

“Thank you,” he said, looking her in the eyes and she smiled at him.

“Anything for you, James Barnes,” she said quietly.

Bucky remembered running. He remembered being alone, being scared, and wanting nothing more than to run.

Run to the end of the street

to the edge of the water

to the end of the world

run til you reach the edge of something and just jump

And he realized that he didn’t feel like that anymore. He didn’t feel that pull, that fear, that flight instinct. He was safe, he was happy. He would never have to be afraid again.

And the jumping, that was gone, too, but maybe not for the same reason. Bucky felt like he’d already jumped. He was in the air now, waiting to see exactly what was on the ground out there and if he’d land on his feet.

Bucky realized it took fear to run, and so much pain, but in the end, it took faith to jump. And he did it, leapt into it, and he wasn’t alone, he’d never have to be alone, but now he could take that leap of faith, he could put on a suit and tie and smile and tell himself that he was getting better. Always getting better.

Bucky raised his glass to Natalia and she raised hers in return and Bucky jumped.

THE END

I would like to thank everyone who read Run and everyone who commented and shared their thoughts with me because I appreciate it so much. I would also like to thank my friends for listening to me rant and cry about CA:TWS and Run. So just, thank you everyone. This story has actually meant a surprising amount to me and I'm really glad I got to share it with others and that it was recieved so graciously. I feel like this was a really big step towards me becoming the writer I want to be.

And the big question on everyone's mind after the end of a big project is always, what's next? I'm happy to tell you that I'm not quite finished here. I'm not exactly sure right now how much time I'll need to get the headstart I want, but expect more news of a sequel soon. :)

Thank again everyone, this has been wonderful. -BB

EDIT

Find the sequel, Ready Set Breathe, here!!

http://www.wattpad.com/story/20412789-ready-set-breathe-a-steve-rogers-destruction-story