For you, I'd do anything {GamTav}

«7»

(Gamzee)

You feel horrible. And not the sick kind.

Guilt infested your being, eating away at you slowly like the bottles of scotch and beer that you had downed, or the cocaine that lined the noses of those around you. There were people all around you, specifically half naked women doing an awful job at so called 'dancing' to intense rave music, but you didn't care anymore. The high wasn't worth the low, and you couldn't escape the guilt no matter how much alcohol you drank, smoke or how many drugs you took.

You don't know why you do this exactly. You have a home, a roof over your head and food, and the cutest, kindest and most caring caretaker ever. So why are you acting like this?

That's right. To prove a point.

You remembered when you were at the hospital, Tavros stating that you had good in you. Subconsciously, you think you might have gone against that. Your bad actions are supposed to prove to Tavros that there is no good in you, because deep down you are a stubborn child who doesn't want to be told what they are and aren't. You know you're a bad person, why bother changing for someone else? Even if they are nice... and cute... and only want the best for you...

Damn it, you feel like you are going to cry. The sheer weight of your decisions weighs down your shoulders like having the entire ocean placed upon your feeble body at once, the water seeping into your body and coming out of your eyes ruining your miraculous makeup.

You aren't going to lie, you were doing this shit way before Tavros had shown up at your door. In fact, when he showed up you were actually hung over from partying all night. Although, back then you could do it without remorse, you could stay up past your bedtime doing all sorts of different drugs and drinking all sorts of different alcohol and nobody would care.

Now was a different story however.

You couldn't drink yourself into a stupor deep enough to dodge the crushing weight of your actions, you couldn't take a drug hard enough to erase the image of Tavros curling himself up into a ball and crying himself to sleep when he thought you weren't watching.

You decided you were going to leave. You couldn't be here any longer.

"Hey buddy, vwhere are ya goin'?" A faint voice yelled over the blaring music. You recoiled and winced in anger, clenching your fists in order to stop yourself from punching the arrogant dick in his pathetic face. "You're still sober, aren't ya? Uncharacteristic of you to leawve before drinkin' yerself silly."

"Piss of, Cronus," you seethed, in absolutely no mood whatsoever to put up with his bullshit. "I leave whenever I MOTHER FUCKING WANT!" You could see a couple of people turning to face you out of your peripheral vision, drunken confusion evident on their faces as they try to locate the sound of the screaming. They quickly dismiss it though, instead choosing to return to their game of beer pong. Or cocaine pong, whatever fucked up variation of an already fucked up game they are playing.

Cronus stares at you weirdly, a drunken-high look glinting in his violet eyes. He smirks, closing his eyes and shrugging before waving his hand in dismissal.

"Vwhatewver dude, I don't really care. Just not used to you leawvin' sober, that's all," he cackles, walking off to join a group of kids doing cocaine. You huff and leave the party, your arm itchy and your left eyelid twitching.

"Oh for fucks sake," you mumble out as your phone rings. You fish it out of your pocket, your breath hitching at the contact name.

Tavros.

You decide to answer it, a feeling in your gut saying that you have to.

"Is this Gamzee?" An unfamiliar voice speaks from the other side. You pause for a second, leaning against the wall. What if something happened to Tavros?

"...what's it to you?" You respond a little harsher than you would have intended. "Who the fuck are you?"

"My name is John, John Egbert..." the man, John, responds.

"What the fuck do you want?" You seethe, getting irritated by the man on the other side of the phone.

"Well... I don't know how to say this to you but..."

"We found... Tavros... on the road..." He responds slowly, making your breath hitch in your throat.

'Please tell me he's ok... he just passed out, that's all...'

"I'm sorry sir, he was hit by a car."