1995 | kth + jjk

alprazolam

95kim hey

jjkooks omg you're messaging me first 😲

jjkooks are you okay?

95kim yeah, i'm just ):

jjkooks why? what's wrong? ))-:

95kim things, b

95kim are you nice in person? like, do you consider yourself to be a good person or whatever

jjkooks kind of. i try to be, but things get the best of me. why? is someone being mean to you?

95kim yes )))-:

jjkooks who is it? i'll beat them up for you 😤😤✊💯

95kim it's some guy that shares a course with me in college. he's always finding some way to make me feel bad about myself and it's always because i'm gay or quiet and just ))):

jjkooks oh, he sounds like a dick

jjkooks it's probably because he's insecure or something. people like that usually are lol

95kim tbh i think it's because he's gay and hasn't come to terms with it

jjkooks how do you know he's gay?

95kim just a feeling

95kim i've talked to him before and he has said some pretty gay things

jjkooks that doesn't make him gay, kim )-:

95kim you say things like that

jjkooks that's because i am gay lmaooo

jjkooks i thought it was obvious

95kim oh yeah, it is. you just said that those things don't determine a person's sexuality

jjkooks it's different though

jjkooks from me to him. we're different

95kim how different?

jjkooks idk, we just are. maybe he doesn't know he's gay? or maybe it's all a joke.

95kim is this a joke ):

jjkooks no, i mean what i say.

jjkooks even when i ask to be rawed 🙏

95kim lol

95kim are you ever mean to people at your uni?

jjkooks nope

jjkooks i feel like i'm nice to the people who deserve it

95kim what if they don't? then how are you towards them

jjkooks a little bit more mean than i should be, but we're all human

95kim i get it

95kim is there anyone at ALL that you're especially distasteful towards?

95kim or has there ever been

jjkooks )-:

jjkooks can i tell you a secret, kim?

95kim of course, kookie

jjkooks there's some people that i'm purposely rude towards and i feel bad about it afterwards but in the moment i couldn't care less

jjkooks and i know it's bad but, like i said, we're human. we have flaws. and mine is just being hateful towards people at random times. it's not like i wake up in the morning thinking about ruining people's day, but if they make me uncomfortable or give me a bad feeling i just kind of project that onto them, you know?

jjkooks it's actually a shitty thing to do tbh

95kim you told me you were a nice person

jjkooks i said kind of and that i tried to be

95kim what makes those people deserve it, then?

jjkooks they make me feel bad

95kim what about how they feel??

jjkooks how am i supposed to know? the world doesn't revolve around one person and if you let someone's actions bring you down that much, you're not ready for the real world

jjkooks i get being a "bully" is awful, but eventually people will run into those anyway so what's the point

95kim their feelings

jjkooks it's not my feelings

95kim what if what you say impacts them more than what you think? what if you've thoroughly managed to hurt them and you don't even care. they're people ):

jjkooks you say that like you know the situation

95kim i do

95kim i'm on the other end of that,,, the boy from my uni does that stuff to me

jjkooks ok, so, how does it make you feel?

95kim well, it's been going on for awhile so eventually i've grown to blame myself for it and i ask what i did to deserve this. i literally can't think of anything other than being comfortable with who i am. why should that bother him? we're not the same person, it shouldn't impact him at all.

95kim in short: i cry a lot

95kim or used to

jjkooks well, how about i try my best- really try this time, to become a nicer person towards others? and then you, if this guy ever does anything again, you can talk to me and i'll find a way to help you through it.

jjkooks maybe we can meet up one day when you're comfortable with it and i'll teach you self defense or i'll even make him stop altogether

jjkooks is that a good solution?

95kim i hope so ):

jjkooks hEy

95kim what

jjkooks thank you for still viewing me the same after i told you that. it means a lot and tbh i think of you as a good friend

95kim yeah lol

jjkooks also ty for replying to my messages still!! ur the best (-':
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