Just Keep Walking

Thirty five

"Go away." Carl groaned the next morning as Mary poked his cheekbone.
"It's wake up time. The clock, I can see it, it's after five." Mary announced, now tugging at Carl's hair.
Carl rolled over and looked at the clock, then rolled his eyes. "It's only quarter past five." He groaned.
"Time to get up."
"No. Not time. Go back to sleep."
"I'm gonna go wake up daddy."
"Okay, you've only had like three hours sleep anyway. Dad'll have gone to bed even later. Let him sleep."
"Okay." Mary sighed.
"You gonna go back to sleep?"
"Okay." The little girl nodded, and she fell asleep in seconds. She woke up to the smell of scrambled eggs a few hours later, and when Carl didn't wake up immediately, she walked down the stairs slowly, her bare feet slapping the floor.
"Hey, honey." Michonne smiled, looking over at the child.
"Hi. Where's daddy?"
"I think he's still in bed. Why don't you go wake him and Carl up? I've almost finished."
"Okay." Mary nodded, going back up the stairs and into Rick's room. "Daddy! Wake up time. Mishy is making breakfast." Mary sang, climbing onto Rick's bed and sitting on his chest.
His eyes opened and he groaned, rubbing his eyes groggily. "Mary. What's wrong?"
"It's time to wake up."
"Alright. Okay. Alright." Rick mumbled, sitting up, making Mary tumble onto the bed.
"Do you have a headache?" Mary asked teasingly, Rick rubbing his head in pain.
"Hmm." The man grunted, his hands now rubbing his face, his eyes blinking heavily. Mary left the room, then came back with two pills.
"It's the right amount." She smiled softly, dropping them into his hand. Rick looked at them, noticing they were ibuprofen, and knew the dosage was correct.
"Thanks, baby. Did you say Mishy was making breakfast?"
"Powdered eggs." Mary grinned with wide eyes.
"Okay. Okay, go wake Carl up." Rick ordered, ruffling Mary's hair, then swallowing the pills. Mary went and woke Carl up, as Rick got Judith, who was in her crib, her eyes wide open, simply sat in silence.
"Protein. Good for the hangover." Michonne smiled, tipping the egg into Rick's plate. Rick froze as she said those words, giving him memories of the CDC, of T-Dog making them powdered eggs, of Glenn being incredibly hungover, of Mary running around and giving everyone pain killers. Then he loosened up, brushing off the coincidence, and began to eat, Judith on his lap.
"I love eggs." Mary smiled happily, sat next to Carl as she ate.
"Hey, Moo, are you gonna go to school today?" Carl asked, looking down at his sister.
"No." Mary mumbled nonchalantly.
"What? You're excited for it." Michonne said in shock.
"I don't wanna go by myself."
"But Izzy is there. You know here. And you met Sam. That means there's only one other kid you don't know." Rick persuaded.
"I'm only goin' if Carl does."
"No, you have to go by yourself, because you're a big girl now." Rick said firmly.
"Maybe tomorrow." Mary shrugged, before shovelling more egg into her mouth.
"Definitely tomorrow."
"Maybe." Mary corrected, and Rick rolled his eyes.
"You can't just stay here all day, every day."
"Why not?"
"Because me and Mishy have jobs. And so does everyone else. And Carl's only a kid too, and he has to go to school too; he can't look after you all day."
"School is so fun though." Michonne smiled softly.
"No. I don't wanna." Mary whined.
"Okay. Let's talk about it later." Rick sighed, shovelling egg into Judith's mouth. Mary sighed too, then finished eating in silence.
"I wanna play with Glenny today." Mary declared once she had finished eating.
"Glenn is going on a run today. That's his job." Rick explained gently.
"But I wanna play with him. Can I go on the run?"
"No."
"But daddy..." Mary whined petulantly, but Rick cut her off.
"No. You're not going on a run. You're five years old."
"But..."
"Mary." Carl sighed, making Mary pout sadly.
"I wanna play with... With Uncle Daryl."
"Mary, they all have jobs."
"Hey, Mary, why don't I take you to see the Millers today?" Michonne asked quickly, and Mary nodded slowly, walking over to Michonne and crawling onto her lap, looking at Rick sadly.
"Hey, don't be annoyed at me, baby. Come on." Rick sighed, reaching over to stroke the back of Mary's hand, but Mary jerked her arm away.
"I want Mishy." Mary whined, and Rick sighed again, leaving her with Michonne.

By that evening, Mary was no longer upset at Rick, although he was chasing her around the house as she tried everything in her power to not have a bath.
"Okay," he sighed, sitting Mary on the closed toilet seat, "you're having a bath. Or a shower? Do you wanna shower instead?"
"No, I wanna swim in the bath," Mary said firmly, "but I wanna play first."
"You can play after." Rick sighed, pulling off Mary's shirt and her leggings, then turning on the bath taps.
"Daddy! I wanna play!"
"No. Bath then dinner then bed." Rick insisted. Mary poked her tongue out at him, but sat still.
"Can I play with Carl? While I wait for the bath?"
"No, Carl is hanging out with Ron."
"Smelly Ron. I wanna play with Carl." Mary mumbled, and Rick just laughed, then stopped when he heard someone knocking on the door.
"Stay here. No running away. You're having a bath." Rick ordered, as he turned off the taps and went downstairs. Mary sighed, then she ran down to the kitchen, grabbing a handful of chocolate raisins.
"Mary!" Rick hissed, but the girl just laughed and ran to him, but as soon as he tried to get her, she'd run away.
Rick rolled his eyes, then went to open the door, to see Jessie stood there.
"Hey Rick. Is Ron here?"
"Yeah, he's just upstairs with Carl. Sorry." He laughed, reach over to scoop up Mary. "She doesn't want a bath, and escaped from the bathroom."
"It's fine." She laughed back.
"Carl! Ron! Jessie's here!"
The two boys jogged down the stairs, Ron ready to be told off.
"I told you dinner was at six. It's seven." Jessie scolded.
"Sorry. I forgot." Ron muttered as Rick rolled his eyes teasingly.
"Come on. Leave poor Rick alone." Jessie sighed as Carl took Mary off Rick, the girl reaching over to him.
"See you later, man." Ron nodded to Carl.
"Yeah, see you later."
"Bye. See you later, Mary." Jessie smiled, and Mary waved to her, Jessie and Ron leaving.
"Bath time!" Rick said firmly, as Mary shook her head, making Rick laugh. "Come on. You stink."
"You stink."
"Hmm. Bath. Now." Mary poked her tongue out at Rick, but went for a bath. Afterwards, she ate dinner, then went to bed at the same time as Carl, refusing to leave his side. Nevertheless, she woke both Carl and Rick up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, and she only got back to sleep with Rick laid next to her, stroking the back of her hand.
Carl only spoke up when he was sure that Mary was asleep. "Dad?"
"Yeah?"
"What are they about? The nightmares. What does she dream of?" Carl asked softly, looking down at his little sister.
"I don't know. I can guess. But I don't think even she remembers."
"What do you think?"
"I think that her life was terrible before us. She was scared of most men; it took her so long to trust me. Some of the things she'd say about her brothers... I don't think it was a happy home. I'm glad she doesn't remember it, you know? Not in a selfish way. I think that... I think it's better this way. Not knowing. Remembering."
"Who knows?" Carl asked quietly.
"Knows what?"
"That she's not biologically yours."
A rush of pain ran through Rick's body. He never even thought about the biology, in fact he often forgot that they shared no DNA. Him and Carl hadn't even discussed the matter since they adopted Mary. It was something they pushed to the back of their minds, so far back it wasn't thought of. Ever. "Us. Maggie and Glenn. That's it."
"Not even Michonne? Daryl? Carol?"
"No," Rick said softly, "she doesn't know. None of them know."
"We don't have to tell anyone." Carl whispered.
"What?"
"I mean, we don't have to tell them. They don't need to know. Ever. I don't want them to. But they don't need to know. She doesn't. It doesn't matter."
"No. It doesn't." Rick whispered.
"I don't care that I don't share DNA with her. I don't. I love her as much as Judith. Just as much. They're both my sisters."
"Carl. Judith..."
"I know." Carl said quickly, cutting his father off. He could see his mother then. He could see Shane. He could see his little sister's familiar smile that reminded him of the other sheriff in his life. And he could see his father that night, when he found him just after killing Shane.
"What do you know?" Rick whispered, holding Mary's hand in her sleep.
"I think you know. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry, but I know I'm right. Judith is Shane's baby, isn't she?"
"Yes." Rick breathed, closing his eyes.
"Same as Mary. It's just the same." Carl insisted, referring to how he felt about his other sister.
"No," Rick mumbled, "it's not the same." Mary was different to Judith. He loved them the same, but it was different. He didn't think of Judith's DNA either, it was almost as forgotten as Mary's, but not quite as forgotten. When he looked at Judith, sometimes he couldn't help but think of Shane. That was how his two daughters (whom he loved equally) were different.
"I love them the same." Carl said firmly.
"I know you do. So do I. Of course I do."
Carl sighed, and picked up Mary's bunny, looking at it with tired eyes. "No one needs to know."