Just Keep Walking

One hundred and twelve

"Is that better?" Michonne gently asked as she and Rick laid Carl down onto Siddiq's makeshift bed, the boy so weak he couldn't even stay sat up.
"Yeah. Thanks." Carl breathed, Michonne wiping sweat off his face, but it was a pointless exercise; as soon as she had cleaned one area, the sweat reappeared.
"I... I got these," Siddiq croaked nervously, sat in the corner, "they're over the counter and non steroidal anti-inflammatories. They'll help a little with the fever. It did for my mom and dad. Please take them. Your son. He should have them."
There was a silence, until Rick finally spoke up. "You're a doctor?"
"I was a resident. Before. Yeah."
"Your name's Siddiq?"
"Yes." Siddiq nodded, and as Mary saw the tears in his eyes, she walked over and hugged him, collapsing into his arms. Siddiq was the same age as Glenn; he was at that age where he wasn't quite a fully grown man, but he definitely wasn't a child, and seemed much older than Carl. Siddiq holding her felt like she had Glenn back. She felt comforted.
"Did you know?" Rick asked Carl, "That he was a doctor? Is that why you brought him back?"
"He wasn't going to make it alone. He needed us. That's why." Carl croaked.
"He was the one at the gas station." Rick nodded slowly. Before anyone could reply, there was an explosion directly above them, and the ceiling above them crumbled, dust and rubble falling directly on Carl's weak face, into his mouth, his throat.
Immediately, Rick sheltered Carl with his body, as the boy coughed horrifically, choking in the dust. The sound of Carl choking made Mary's sobs grow, and she held onto Siddiq even tighter as Rick shushed and soothed Carl.
"Water, give him water!" Michonne ordered in panic, Carl's coughing worsening instead of getting better.
"Here, you got it?" Rick whispered gently, holding the bottle to Carl's lips Michonne stroked Carl's cheek with her thumb, "Slowly, slowly."
Carl continued to splutter and wheeze, but his coughing stopped, and Mary got up, walking over to him. She laid down beside him, ignoring as Michonne argued with Dwight.
"Mary, don't. Give him space." Rick sighed, sensing that Carl was hot and uncomfortable. Mary didn't move an inch, pretending she couldn't hear. "Mary!"
"Dad, 's fine." Carl mumbled groggily.
"Mary, let him breathe please." Rick snapped, and Mary got up and ran to Michonne.
"You're best chance is to stay here and wait until they're gone." Dwight said firmly to Michonne, as she picked up Mary, holding the crying girl tightly.
"No. They find us here, we're dead." Daryl snapped.
"They're almost gone. They gotta be. It wasn't about destroying the place. They don't have the ammo for that. After they let up, after they're gone that's when we go."
"Okay," Rosita nodded after a silence, "we wait."
Michonne nodded, and went to go back to Carl, but Mary wriggled out of her arms, and into Rosita's.
"I'm scared." She whimpered.
"I know. I know. And I know daddy snapped at you, but it's just because he's so sad."
"I know. But I am too." Mary mumbled, and Dwight spoke up again.
"You're sure the Hilltop's the best plan?"
"You got a better one?" Rosita snapped.
"All of you in one place together?"
"All of us in one place together will be their worst damn nightmare." Daryl answered simply.
"It won't. It'd be their worse nightmare if Glenn and Carl were there." Mary retorted, and no one knew how to reply.

Mary and Carl were asleep next to each other when Michonne, Daryl, Rosita, and Tara returned from looking for the Saviours.
"The Saviours are gone. We can get everyone to Hilltop, we can get Carl there." Michonne explained with a glimmer of hope, her voice waking Mary up immediately. She got up, and Rick picked her up, his whole body drained.
"Carl, no." He breathed.
"Daryl can get one of the cars."
"Carl won't make it," Rick whispered, his voice breaking, full of sadness and pain, "he can't leave here, I have to stay with him."
"Rick."
"He can't. I have to stay." Rick said simply, and Mary whimpered.
"We both stay." Michonne corrected, and Rick shook his head slowly.
"Will, will you take the girls? They need to be there. If she... If... It happens..." Rick begged, breaking down and sobbing into Mary's hair.
"I'll take them," Daryl promised quickly, his voice firm, "I'll get them there, we'll keep them safe. I got this."
"No." Mary whimpered.
"Let me say goodbye." Carl mumbled, one eye half open. Michonne nodded, and helped Carl sit up, leaning against the wall, his whole body floppy and weak yet filled with pain.
"Mary, come on." Rick sobbed to Mary, putting her down. She stood next to Judith, opposite Carl, as they boy looked at them both with so much love and so much pain, but she couldn't bear to stay there, and ended up back in Rick's arms, sobbing hysterically.
"You be good, okay?" Carl said shakily to Judith, "For Michonne - mom, for dad. You gotta honor him. Listen when he tells you stuff. You don't have to always, sometimes kids gotta show parents the way. But you're going to be okay, Jude. I promise. Mary is gonna look after you, and everything will be okay. Because she's got a golden wildflower heart, don't you, Moo? Just like the stories. And I've taught her how to... I've taught her so many things, and now she's gonna teach the to you. She'll help you. She'll be there. She's gonna be the best big sister."
Mary was clinging to Rick now, and Judith let out a whimper. "Before mom died, she told me I was going to beat this world. I didn't. But you will. I know you will."
Judith held her arms out to Carl, and Rick picked her up as she cried, the man holding both of his daughters tightly. He quickly soothed her, then passed her to Daryl.
"These people, you saved them all. That's all you man." Daryl nodded to Carl, and Carl gave him a half smile. Daryl nodded back, and Michonne reached over to Mary.
"Baby, you have to say goodbye now." She said in a croak.
"No."
"Mary..."
"Darlin'. Come on now. Come with me." Daryl soothed, holding his hand out.
"No. I wanna stay with Carl and daddy! No!" Mary protested, crying heavily.
"Mary," Rick croaked, his face broken, "just go with Uncle Daryl. Please."
"Sweetheart, its time to say goodbye." Daryl whispered gently, bending down and twisting his head to he could look into her eyes.
"No! No! No!" Mary shouted angrily, hot tears falling down her face.
"Dad. Let her stay." Carl croaked. Rick's shoulders slumped, and he nodded to Daryl.
"You be good for your daddy. Okay? You're a big girl. Remember that. A big, brave, kick ass princess."
Mary nodded slowly, then kissed Daryl's cheek, and they left. Mary sat on Carl's bed, nestling into his side as Siddiq walked over.
"You were helping me honour my mom." He breathed.
"Not just yours. Mine too. Our mom."
"You brought me here. You gave me a chance. I know I can never repay you, but I can honour you by showing your people, your friends, your, your family that what you did wasn't for nothing. That it mattered. That it that it meant something. Because it did. So that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna honour you, Carl."
"You can repay me." Carl said suddenly, and Siddiq nodded. "Mary doesn't like people. She doesn't get on with them, and she rarely talks to new people, and she never hugs anyone she doesn't know. You're an exception. You're like Glenn."
"He meant a lot to you both." Siddiq nodded understandingly, and Mary  began to cry again.
"He was her everything. She's lost him and me. She needs someone like us again. Siddiq, you have to be her Carl and her Glenn. Promise me that you're going to be there for my sister. Promise you'll be there," Carl cried, "promise that you'll care for her, and love her, and put up with her shit. She cries, she can be grumpy, she can be horrible to the people she loves but for good reasons. But she is the best person ever. She's caring and loving and she just wants everyone to be happy. She used to leave our mom meals on her grave, and she puts fresh flowers in Glenn's empty house once a week. She's the best person. But she needs someone. She needs a person who isn't our parents, if she doesn't... She can't cope. Everyone needs a person who unconditionally loves them, and who isn't a parent. She's my person. I'm her person. Siddiq, please can you be her new person?"
"I'd be honoured. And I'll love her. I will. I'll do it all." Siddiq promised as he cried, and Carl smiled, suddenly so much more relaxed.
He held out his hand, and Siddiq took it, their eyes locked. "Congratulations. You're stuck with us. And you've got a person."
Siddiq half laughed, still crying. He nodded at Carl, then got up as Carl laid back down. Mary got up after Siddiq, and hugged him tightly.
"You'll survive this." Siddiq whispered to Mary, a hand on the top of her head, then he left, needing to catch up with the others. Mary turned back around, and looked at Carl as Michonne soothing stroked his hair.
"Come here," Carl whispered, "come here, Mary."
Mary walked over to her brother, and he widened his arm. Mary understood the gesture, and laid down beside him, as she did most nights.
"I love you, Mary Moo." Carl mumbled into her ear.
Mary began to sob even more, and nuzzled into his neck. "I love you most."
"Oh no. I love love love you the bestest." Carl half joked.
"More than Judith?"
"You're my favourite big girl. My favouritest big girl who exists in the world ever. But... Remember those words I said earlier." Carl replied gently.
"You're going to Heaven. For real. Aren't you?"
Rick began to sob even more, and Michonne held him softly.
"Yeah. But you know what that means, right?"
"You get to see mommy," Mary cried gently, "and my Glenn. And all of our friends."
"Yeah. But more importantly, people who have died, people in heaven, they look after the people they love that are still alive. So I'm gonna look after you from Heaven."
Rick knew Carl didn't believe in things like Heaven. But he wanted Mary to be at peace. That's why he was saying it, and it made him even more emotional.
"So you'll still be here?"
"I'll always be in your heart." Carl insisted, even though his voice was weak.
"I want you here."
"Do you remember much about mommy? Do you remember how much she loved us?"
"Yeah." Mary whispered, then Carl held her even tighter.
"Well, mommy is waiting for me now. She's waiting for me."
"Carl."
"You heard what I said to Judith. That before mommy died, she told me I'd beat this world. Now you need to. You need to fight everything. You need to protect Judy. Just like I've protected you all these years. And you need to be there for daddy. You're a big girl now. Okay?"
"Okay."
"And Mary? This is yours now." Carl nodded softly, holding out his hat.
"Mine?" Mary croaked emotionally, and Carl nodded.
"It was daddy's, then mine, and now it's yours. I don't know just, just having I with me or something always kept dad with me, made me feel strong or something. It helped me. Maybe it will help you too. It's a part of me. Of my story from the beginning. Of dad's story that began a billion years ago when he became that sheriff. When he was that sheriff who married mommy and they had me, and our family started. And it's going to be your story when you're an adult and have your two kids, and they ask you where did you get your hat from. When you give it to your kid when they're old enough. This hat is a Grimes thing."
"What about Judith?" Mary whispered, her heart happy and proud, but with a hint of guilt.
"Judith gets you. That's enough of me. That's the best gift I could give her, and it's a much better gift than a smelly old hat. She gets you, and you're... You're practically me." Carl explained, "I'm just sorry you don't have a person that's the same as me. There's only one. And it's you. You and maybe daddy. You can keep daddy."
"I don't want just daddy. I want you too." Mary sobbed, and Carl held her even tighter.