Just Keep Walking

Fifty eight

After Rick and Mary had left Carl's room, try sat together and cried for a few minutes, until they heard the gate opening.
"Glenny." Mary whispered, her head snapping up.
"Yeah. Yeah, let's go get him." Rick nodded, getting up and walking to the gate. When they got there, Daryl was out of the car already, and Mary went straight into his arms.
"Go okay?" Rick asked, his voice exhausted.
"Some cans of soup, some pasta sauces, few pot noodles. Found Mary some crap. You okay?"
"Carl. He's having a hard time." Rick said softly, and Daryl nodded silently.
"Hey, Moo!" Glenn smiled excitedly, sliding out of the car with a bag, "I got you some presents. Look! New shoes!" He grinned, holding out a pair of bright green high top trainers to Mary. "Her converse are way to small." He explained to Rick as a side note.
"I know. I tried to find her some. I've been a little busy. I know they're too small. I'm her father. I know. I know!" Rick said sharply, making Glenn recoil a little.
"Okay. Okay." Glenn whispered, passing Mary the shoes. Daryl sat Mary on the roof of the car, and put the new shoes onto her feet.
Mary smiled happily when she put them on. "They're so comfy. I love them! They're not tight. There's room."
"Good. Say thank you." Daryl ordered, and Mary leaped into Glenn's arms, the young man almost dropping her.
"Thank you! Daddy would never pick out ones as cool as this!" Mary grinned, hugging him tightly.
"Thanks." Rick mumbled, a light chuckle in his voice attempting to hide his slight jealously. His kids didn't need him anymore. They didn't want him anymore.
"Are we going home now?" Mary asked Glenn, looking up at him with wide, curious eyes.
"We can do. Don't you want to play with daddy and Carl?"
"No. Carl's sad. He screamed at me. He swore at me. He was mean, so I don't want to play with him. And I just want to go home and play with you and Maggie."
Glenn and Daryl both looked at Rick in question, and he nodded slowly. "He got a bit upset. He... It was bad. He was screaming at her, at both of us. He was having his bandage changed and didn't want us to see."
"He hates me." Mary mumbled, nuzzling into Glenn's shirt.
"No, he doesn't. He doesn't." Rick insisted, slightly too harshly.
"I hate him!"
"Mary! Don't say that!" Rick hissed, and Mary shrank into Glenn's shirt even more.
"He was mean. He's always mean now," Mary sobbed suddenly, "and daddy's mean too! I wanna go home!"
"Okay, come on then, baby. Let's go home. I'll find Carol and drop you off." Rick soothed.
"Not our home! Glenny and Maggie's home!" Mary shouted, and Rick took a shaky breath in.
"Okay. Okay, you can take her home then, if that's what she wants. Whatever she wants." Rick whispered, taking a step back.
"Rick." Glenn sighed, holding the sobbing girl in his arms.
"I'll see you later, baby girl. I love you." Rick said gently to Mary, taking a deep breath in, then he kissed the top of her head walked away.
"Okay. Okay, let's get you back." Glenn soothed to Mary, not knowing how to deal with her broken heart and Rick's sudden distance from his children. He said goodbye to Daryl, then left, carrying Mary and his two bags.
Maggie came over to hug her husband as soon as he came through the door, but stopped suddenly when she saw his and Mary's faces. "What's wrong?" Maggie asked in a panic.
"Carl hates me." Mary whispered, and after that, she couldn't stop her tears from falling. Maggie took her, shushing her softly and kissing the top of her head.
"He doesn't hate you," Maggie said firmly once Mary had stopped crying, sitting the child on her lap so they were facing each other, "you know that. So talk to me without crying, talk to me calmly, and tell me what's wrong."
"I... I..." Mary stuttered, her voice jittery from her tears.
"What did I say? Take a deep breath." Maggie reminded gently, and Mary did as she was told. "Better?"
"Better."
"Okay. Now you can start."
"He started screaming at me and saying bad words because we saw him without his bandage on. I didn't see. He didn't want me to see, so I looked away. He made daddy cry. He scared me. He doesn't like me."
"He does like you, okay? You know he does. He's just very sad right now. So you have to be a good girl, because it's sad for him and sad for daddy. But Carl doesn't mean the nasty things he said, okay?"
"Okay." Mary nodded slowly.
"Why don't we do some pictures for him? To show him when he gets better?" Maggie suggested gently, and Mary nodded slowly. "Okay. I'll go find you some stuff."
She got up and grabbed Mary some pens and paper, and Mary sat until dinner time drawing picture after picture for Carl, of them both in millions of places and situations; in the woods, at home, eating ice cream, at a beach.
"He'll love them." Maggie smiled, as Mary showed her them over dinner.
"I did this for you and Glenny. It's me and you and Glenny and the baby."
"I love it." Maggie grinned, as Glenn reached over and ruffled Mary's hair.
"It's really good. Well done." Glenn added.
"How are babies made?" Mary asked suddenly.
"Your turn." Glenn said quickly, shovelling pasta into his mouth.
"Well," Maggie began awkwardly, shooting a glare at Glenn, "when two people are in love, they can have a baby. Only if they want."
"They just think it?" Mary asked in disbelief.
"They... Make a wish. And... And if they're lucky, it comes true and they get a baby." Maggie settled on.
"Why did mommy wish for a baby? If she knew it was a bad time to have one?"
Maggie didn't know how to answer that one, and she found Lori's pregnancy and delivery hard to talk about anyway, especially now she was pregnant herself, so Glenn stepped in.
"Mommy made the wish before all the Walkers came." He explained, and Mary nodded, deciding Glenn's answer was a good one.
"Okay. I don't want one until I'm a very big girl."
"No, that's a good plan." Maggie laughed.
"How come only mommies have babies?"
"Only mommies can. That's just how it is."
"When you have your baby, will you still like me?"
"Of course." Maggie and Glenn said immediately, in perfect unison.
"Okay. That's okay. When will Mishy have a baby?"
"Not for the time being." Maggie chuckled, rolling her eyes.
"I think her and daddy should be in love. I'd like that."
"Would you?" Glenn laughed, his eyebrows raised.
"Yeah. She's sort of like a mommy. It'd be nice to have a mommy again."

The next morning Maggie took Mary to go and see Carl; unlike the night before, she'd had several nightmares and wanted Rick, or at a long shot, Carl or Michonne. But she stopped dead still at the door, seeing a piece of paper pushed under it.
Maggie picked it up and saw it was addressed to Rick, in Carl's handwriting, but not sealed. The worry built up in her throat, and she slowly opened it.
Dad,
I'm sorry. It's not you, it's not anything you've done. I just can't live like this anymore. What's the point in fighting anymore, if this is how it is now? I don't want to fight it anymore. Tell the girls how much I love them, and tell Mary it's not her fault either, because she'll think it is. Be careful when you come in, in case I've turned.
Carl.

"Mary. Mary, you need to run upstairs, and wake up Denise, then stay there with Tara. Okay? Tell her it's very very urgent."
"Why?" Mary questioned, curiosity in her voice.
"Because I say so. Go. Now." Maggie ordered, and Mary nodded, going upstairs sadly.
Maggie took a shaky breath in, then opened the door, her knife ready, but dropped it when she saw Carl on the floor, pale and sickly, with an empty bottle of pills on the floor and a gun in his hand.