𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 - 𝘱.𝘫𝘮

𝟢𝟣

he stared at me with a smile from across the field. i smiled as he walked towards me on the empty field. we stopped and the place where we met was pink.

"hello my beautiful moon." he said as he moved a strand of my midnight black hair and placed his warm hand against my pale cold cheek that was blushing blue.

soon a pillow had hit my face. "hEY!" i yelled looking at my door at jieun. "what are you doing?" she asked snarkily, holding one of my pillows in her hand. i sit up straight on my bed.

"i was reading." i say with a pout. hyejin pokes her head into my doorway. "it's time for dinner." she says. "can i finish this chapter first?" i plead, giving her my best puppy eyes.

"jae eun you said that five chapters ago." hyejin said, crossing her arms. i groan as i put a mental bookmark on what page i was on before putting my book on my desk. "what are we eating for dinner?"  jieun asks as we, the three lowell girls, walk downstairs.

"korean food." hyejin says with a smile. jieun groans. "the way dad makes it is the worst." she said, making me laugh. "well i want you to take a bite and say 'mm taste just like mom's'. do you think you can do that?" hyejin asks and jieun sighs. "i guess." she says.

we get downstairs and i could already smell slightly burnt bulgogi just as seokjin, hyejin's boyfriend walks in. dad sets down the plate of brown almost black bulgogi down onto the table and i swallow my saliva before picking some up with my chopsticks to put into my bowl.

hyejin made kimchi which was better than the bulgogi so i took plenty. "yah save some for me!" jieun says and i roll my eyes before picking a few more pieces of cabbage.

dad eats first. then hyejin. then seokjin. then jieun. then me. we swallow thickly and jieun and i shove pieces of kimchi in our mouths. "jae eun you should start learning how to cook." hyejin says to me as dad went back into the kitchen.

"what? i already know how to cook." i say. "baking is different than cooking jae eun." hyejin says and i roll my eyes.

"besides, you and jieun aren't gonna be able to survive if dad cooks like this." she says and we laugh. i look up at seokjin, who in return smiles back at me.

kim seokjin, or simply just jin. he was my first ever boy friend. space between the words. boy that was my friend. we used to do everything together. but everything changed when hyejin came.

i'm not mad at her or anything but i was really crushed when i found out they were dating. they felt bad that i was pushed away and invited me to everything. if anything, i was the third wheel like in books.

and so, here i am. writing a letter to him. i want to get rid of these feelings for him. i could never do that to hyejin. especially since she's going to be leaving him to study abroad. they're arguing outside right now as im writing my letter to seokjin. i could hear how upset they both sound.

there are five letters in total. yoon jeonghan from culinary, min yoongi from homecoming, mark lee from chemistry, park jimin from seventh grade, and seokjin. these letters are like an exorcist. they take my love away and store it in a secret place. i keep them in a box in my closet. mom gave it to me before she died.

whenever i read these letters, i realize that my love is so powerful that they have to be contained.

"what are you doing?" hyejin asks, standing in the doorway, holding a box. i quickly put my letter to seokjin into its envelope and cover the box with clothes that were on the floor. "your room's a mess." hyejin said, sitting on my bed. she had a frown on her face.

"something wrong?" i asked as i sat next to her. "i just broke up with seokjin." she says. "what?! why would you do that?!" i asked. ".... mom always said not to have a boyfriend in college." hyejin says and i sigh. "do you regret it?" i ask. "i don't know." she whispers.

hyejin sits up. "since i'm leaving tomorrow, you should pack up things you don't need and donate it to goodwill." she says. i look around my comfortably messy room.

"i think i'm good." i say with a smile. "jae eun, you're going to be the oldest sibling. so that means you need to set a good example for jieun, no snacking before dinner, clean room." hyejin says as i roll my eyes.

"no, don't give me that." she scolds and i sigh. "why did you have to pick the farthest college to go to?" i ask with a pout. hyejin chuckles. "go to sleep, okay? we gotta wake up early tomorrow." she says before leaving my room.

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