corinna's little sister » david dobrik

twenty » home sweet home

I landed in Chicago, made it home, and slept for four hours before anyone called me, wondering where the hell I was.

"Hello?" I answered my ringing phone without even checking who it was. It was too early to worry about who could be calling me.

"Hi. Where are you?" it was Corinna on the other line. I hadn't left her a note. I was so worried about her coming back to her apartment before I could leave and I was rushing. The only person I really needed closure with was David.

"Um," I let out a nervous laugh, cringing as the words, "Vernon Hills" left my mouth.

"Are you fucking with me?" Corinna asked, and after a long, silent pause, she gasped, "Matilda! What the fuck? You didn't even say bye to me!"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry!" I cried. "I didn't want it to be like this, but it is."

"You left because of that dumbass?" she asked and I nodded before I realized she couldn't see me.

"Yeah, I guess. I just want to be happy, Rin. I want to be able to make a decision without wondering what he'll think. I need to be here," I explained, forcing myself to blink the tears away. I was done crying over boys. I was a new woman.

"Are you okay? Like, genuinely, truly okay?" she questioned and I thought for a minute. I didn't know how to answer.

"I'm not," I told her. "But I will be if I get a second. I need a break from everything. That's why I came home."

"Do you want me to come back with you?" I could hear the genuine concern in her voice, which brought a smile to my face. As sisters, we didn't always care about each other, but when we did, it was so wholesome and pure. I loved her.

"No. I really need to be alone, I think. I don't even know anymore."

"You'll figure it out, Til. You always do," it was so sincere that it brought the tears I had fought so hard to avoid right back to my eyes.

"I just don't know anymore. I love him," it was then that the tears began to flow freely. I was so confused and heartbroken and I just wanted it to be ten weeks later when I'd hopefully be over it. "I don't know what to do."

"Can you try explaining to me?" her voice was encouraging. "I think if you speak it, it will help you figure out what you want to do."

"I love him, but it's so hard," I didn't expect the sobs to start up in my throat, but they did. "He's fucking in love with her, and he wants to be with her. He's not ready to be with me, but I'm not ready to not be in a relationship. She was here first, and right now, she's most important to him. It's just so unfair. Timing is so stupid."

"Matilda, listen to me," she sounded more authoritative now, and I could only imagine the serious, solemn look on her face. She was about to give me a preaching I wasn't sure I was ready for. "As hard as it is for you to believe, based on what you've told me and the person I know David to be, Liza wasn't there first. He's had you in his heart since we were what, twelve? He loves you, Matilda. I don't doubt it for a second."

"I don't either," I whined, and that was true. I didn't doubt that he loved me, because I loved him. We were so fucking similar that it hurt. We acted the exact same way with our crushes, repressing them with hatred until we forgot about them. He loved me. "But he doesn't want to be with me right now! I go to college in Illinois! We'll be separated in two months if I choose to come back. What even is the point of that?"

"But in the note—"

"You read the note?" I asked, jaw dropping to the floor at the implications.