corinna's little sister » david dobrik

twenty five » clarity

"Where the hell are you going, Tilda?" David asked as he followed close behind me. I had stormed through the house and out the door the second the word easy left Mike's mouth. Easy. As if David wasn't just as willing as I was. As if I knew it was all a game to them, and I went along with it anyways.

"Home, where I should've been this entire time," I snapped, fumbling desperately with my keys to find the button to unlock my car. "God, I'm just so stupid."

"Stop," he groaned, snatching the keys out of my hand in an instant. I was too shaky to even keep them in my hands. "Can't we talk?"

"No, David, we can't. Your friends just called me easy and you laughed. The only one who didn't laugh was Alex, actually. Maybe you should talk to him about manners."

"You know I didn't mean anything by it," he sighed, shoving the keys in his pocket. From the corner of my eye, I noticed two boys standing in the open doorway, and the other two standing behind the fence that lead to the backyard. If they wanted a show, I'd give them one. I wasn't one to disappoint.

"You never mean anything by it, do you, David?" I asked harshly, surprised by my own tone. "I mean, Jesus Christ, I wrote you a fucking letter explaining how I felt about you and then I flew two thousand miles to get the fuck away from you, and you show up and I just fall right back into the trap I wrote about. We aren't gonna work! We were never meant to work!"

"No, we aren't gonna work. You know why? It's not because of me!" he yelled and my jaw dropped. How could he possibly put this on me?

"What's that supposed to mean?" I crossed my arms over my chest in defense.

"It means you've always been so fucking obsessed with Halloween," he snapped. "For years, you've just been brooding about it, waiting for the day you could spite me. You can't get over it! I made a mistake; I apologized! You can't forgive me, and that's your issue to deal with, not mine."

"You know what, as much as it pains me to say it, you're right, David," I frowned. "I can't get over it. I can't forgive you, not while we're together. It will always be in the back of my mind, and I will always hold it over your head. That's what the fucking note was for. To tell you I couldn't forgive you. And then you either didn't read it or didn't care enough to respect me. So it's not on me, David. I wanted to be done with this; I wanted to be done with you. You came out here. You wanted us to be together."

"So what? You're breaking up with me because I laughed at a joke?" he furrowed his brows like the situation confused him, and I had to roll my eyes. He was so stupid.

"He called me easy, David! I was a child and you took advantage of me; that's not easy, that's basically rape."

"I didn't rape you."

"I know," I sighed, deciding I needed to take a breather. I dropped to the driveway, criss cross apple sauce. "But still, it was something. Not something to joke about."

"I'm sorry. It was insensitive," he apologized, sitting himself down in front of me. "But doesn't this show us something? You can't joke about it, and I can't talk about it without joking."

"It shows that you're an asshole?" it wasn't a joke, but David chuckled.

"I don't know. I just... how are we going to make this work, Matilda?" he sighed, placing his face in his hands. "We're never going to be on the same page. You hate me."

"I don't know. I don't know how many more times we can go over this until it's just... not worth it anymore. I need some time."

David's hand dipped into his pocket and he pulled out my keys, placing them on the concrete in front of me. "Are you at least coming back to LA with me?"

I hesitated, which was enough answer for David. "I'll text you. I just... need a few days."

A few days turned into a week, which turned into a month, and by the end of August, I was moving back into my dorm room, two thousand miles away from my house.

It was so hard to explain to anyone who didn't understand. The truth was, I couldn't forgive David for Halloween, and I couldn't forgive myself for not getting over it. Being with David did nothing but hurt me, even though I loved him more than anyone I had ever met. To me, it was simple. David and I weren't meant to be.

To David, it wasn't so simple. He called over and over for the first few weeks, making sure I was okay and asking if I wanted to talk. It was sweet and it showed he cared, but it wasn't what I needed. Honestly, I didn't even know what I needed. We weren't supposed to be together, that much I knew. It just wasn't meant to work out.

I was okay with that. Without David, I was so much happier. Not that David didn't make me happy, but when we were together, he constantly reminded me of the worst time of my life. I was never going to feel clean and happy and clear if I wasn't on my own, and I accepted that.

Not all boys are the right ones for you. David wasn't the one for me, no matter how many nights I stayed up as a child, wishing he was. I'd always be Corinna's little sister, no matter how hard we tried to pretend I wasn't. Not all stories have happy endings.

Mine does.

David got back together with his long time girlfriend Liza in the middle of December. He was so happy, and the next time he saw me when he came home for Christmas, I could tell there were no hard feelings.

I didn't get another boyfriend as soon as possible. I didn't hope that David would want me back. In fact, I didn't even have him in the back of my mind, wondering what he was doing and if he was thinking about me. I didn't plan my outfits hoping he would see. I didn't post Instagram stories for his eyes only. I was set free from his grasps on my mind, and that's the happiest ending I could ever think of.

hmmm. its over. thats the end. i was gonna make it thirty chapters buttttt guess not. i just want to say thank u so much for reading and enjoying this little piece of my heart, maybe one day ill be free of MY davids grasp like matilda is free of hers. heres for hoping! xoxox abby